This has been probably the longest week of my life. I am anxiously awaiting the 4th postponement of Neema's finalizing court date. On the day of court, the birth father, lawyer, judge, and social welfare officer must all be present. So lets see so far the social welfare officer has been absent once and the judge has been absent once. Let's hope that this time everyone can manage to get there and we can finish this thing. Every single failed attempt has left me asking God, WHY? At every rescheduling I think to myself God was aware that on that date that was set, someone wouldnt be there. I kept thinking He could have assigned a date where He knew we would complete. I know He wants Neema to be with me, so why the delay? He is the only one who is really in control so why are we still waiting? But who am I to ask God why? Who am I to even say his name?! This is my God who sent HIS only child to die for me. And im asking him why I am having to wait for mine? At least He gave her to me. At least I dont have to sacrifice her. At least we are together now. At least she is healthy and thriving. It is so easy to focus on what I dont have instead of focusing on the rich blessings he is showering me with daily. The blessing of waking up to this little angel every morning. The blessing of hearing her sweet voice sing "you are my sunshine." I will wait for this child... FOREVER!

Sweet Jesus,

I pray that on Monday, December 7th you will declare that Neema and I will officially be forever family. I pray that everyone who needs to be there will be present and ready. That through your love and grace we can finalize this adoption and begin the process of returning home. Help me Jesus to remember that this is all in your hands and to not fear for you knew us both before we were even born. Thank you that you are sovereign Lord and thank you for disciplining me to be patience. Help me to not miss out on the little things for looking to much to the future. Guide me in focusing on each day as your precious gift. Thank you for Neema. Thank you that she is so young and does not understand all of this court stuff. Thank you that as I was sad on each day we didnt finalize that I could look into her smiling eyes without a hint of worry or stress because all she knows is that I love her so that it can remind me that I dont need to worry either because you love ME. Lord if you want us to wait 10 more years we will because you asked us to. You are my Father in Heaven, I am nothing apart from you. I long to be united with you in spirit. Come Jesus and fill me with all of who you are. We are looking to you...King of Kings...be glorified.......

Amen.