Photobucket
Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Learning to Fly

Well hello! It has been awhile! I am so excited to be sitting at Starbucks right now and actually a few minutes to write all the things that have been sitting in the draft box of my brain and heart. But I literally have not had enough free time to sit and write in weeks! This semester has hit me hard....I am taking 9 hours of class this semester as opposed to the 4.5 hours I took last fall and woah it has taken over my life! Much more homework and just mentally more draining. The transition has been tough and it's affected more than just my blog life. Monday through Wednesday I see Neema for about an hour a day. :( And during that time its not even always quality time, i would love to say that I make the most of that precious time with her and I get down on the floor and we do puzzles and play candy land, but its just not the case. I find that during the little free time I have during those days I'm rushing trying to get other things done I need to do whatever it may be and I am just not giving her the attention she needs and deserves. There have been days when I just broke down in tears because I feel like im being the worst mama! Expressing this concern, I have heard "but you are in school and that is what is best for Neema in the long run." or "Neema won't remember this time, she is only 4" and I know there are little truths to these statements, but you never get these days back, we never get any days back and each one is so precious!
I am on Spring Break for Trinity this week, but it has not been spring break for me. I had two midterms and I have been working at the International Community School for the first part of this week (which is another blog post to come - eventually) so this week has been even crazier than normal as I have been staying down there until 3.
My whole family is gone as they are all off in fun places...and Neema has been with a babysitter. However, today I take the day off. I am taking the morning to myself. We laid in bed until 8am, I took Neema to school at 9am and I should be using this day to do homework because I have a lot (big projects due soon) but I'm not. I want to go for a run. I want to blog. And i want to spend a lot of time with Jesus. Man do I need to be refueled. And that I have been. I have been running ragged, but as I have been able to finally take a pit stop I can sit here and see how he has sustained me. How in all the craziness He has provided and how he drawn me to moments of rest with him here and there but today I feel like I got to have more than just a little rest, but more like a hibernation. Just soaking him up and now I feel like I'm dripping in His grace.
This life God has called me to and continues to call me to is not the easiest and its scary but I am so full. He is so good and I am thankful for these days when I can slow down enough to reflect on his faithfulness.

Matthew 11:28-29
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."