Christmas in ZANZIBAR

Neema has been looking forward to this trip for weeks now...she could not stop talking about the airplane!! I thought maybe she would be scared but she wasn't at all! I was impressed. She did very well she sat with me and looked out the window mesmerized....

When we got there she really like the 'cool' but was not so sure about the 'lotion'.....hahaha...She was afraid of this water that perpetually lapped up against the sand. When we walked along the shore she would flap her little hands and shriek "i dont need water!!! i dont need water!!!" Ok we are going to have to work on this....loving the beach is a prerequisite!! :) But by the final day I could not drag her out of the water! (Ok good I can keep her...just kidding!!)

Christmas was really special this year. Obviously because it was our first one together but also because we kept it really simple. It was not about presents and Santa Claus, it was about being so incredibly blessed. We were together in a beautiful place celebrating the birth of our Savior. When I asked Neema "what is today?" she said "Jesus' birthday and Ill share his cake." hahaha i guess she knows when there is a birthday there is cake.....so we ordered a slice of chocolate cake that night at dinner and blew out a candle for 'Baby Jesus'. And for a country that is not known for her desserts, it was pretty good birthday cake!

Enjoy a few glimpses of our precious memories....

I have turned her into full on beach girl...mission accomplished.

Her PINK (duh) stocking until Bibi finishes her hand stitched one. :)

Christmas on the beach! Only would have been better if my family had been there.

Before Christmas dinner...

Neema keeping to her African culture...shake shake shake...

Last Day in Zanzibar...NOOOOO!

Goodbye Ocean....we will miss you.

I stand on Grace

Ok today has been a doozie.....we have had no power for over 24 hours and when we dont have power for that long we also lose water because our pump is underground and the tank runs out. So i couldnt even take a shower this morning before court. On top of that and the judge still being away my puppy died this afternoon. He had been really sick but I just thought he needed some anti-biotics. Not the best of days...

Ok so this is where my heart is...i am discovering somethings about myself that are pretty unsettling. And I'm just going to put myself out there and be honest...but the truth is im not sure how much I really trust God. Throughout this process I have seen how quickly I lose hope. Do I really believe in God's goodness? Today before court as I sat in my car hoping and praying by some slice of a chance the judge might actually be there, I started to think about Jesus. And all the things he has done before. Amazing things! Calming the wind, feeding the thousands, giving sight to the blind! In Matthew 17 the disciples want to know why they couldn't drive out the demon from the boy. Jesus says "Because you have so little faith." That was me this morning. I sat there thinking to myself I bet if I TRULY believed that God was capable of bringing this man back for court, he would be there. I wanted with all my heart to just BELIEVE he was there. I wanted to have this incredible faith that my God moves mountains and raises people from dead and that bringing this judge to court when no one said he was going to come was cake for Him. But God knows my heart. God sees my doubt. And I think it hurts his feelings. He has been so faithful to me in all my years and I look back at how he has perfectly weaved Neema and my story together in so many ways that can only be of Him, yet the second I can't see my way I realize how quick I am to step in and try to take things into my own hands. This is ugly and I want to hide this about myself but it's true.

What does having faith really mean? Right now I am learning the TRUE meaning of walking by faith and not by sight. This is a song by Ginny Owens that I think says so much about where I am now.

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to


Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

I know my God has a wonderful plan for me and maybe He just needs to 'wear me down' so He can build me back up. My faith may be weak but He is strong and thanks to my Jesus Christ, I can stand on grace.

I'm sure if you are following along with us you will think this is a joke but the judge was not back today. A new date has yet to be set. Will blog about it more later. Thanks for hanging in there with us.

Court #5

Well, wish i had better news to report but when we got to court on Monday morning it turns out the judge was still not back from Mbeya. He wasnt there last time because he was traveling to see his sick father. Unfortunately, his father passed away. (which to be honest, i was afraid was going to happen) So we have been rescheduled AGAIN to December 15th. The courts shut down mid-december (i think the 15th is the last day before closing for TWO months for Holidays) so I am continuing to pray for God's intervention to finally FINALIZE next Tuesday. He hears our prayers...he is in the midst of all of this and I must trust His timing. It is difficult but i have become so tough during this process. Gone are the days of becoming annoyed and complaining. There is no point. This is Africa. This is Life. I have been made so aware of my absolute inability to change my circumstances and thus have learned an even greater lesson...to be content with where God has me in all of this and continue to point to Him even when I am not getting what I want. He is GOOD. He is ENOUGH. So we will continue to wait and we will keep smiling. We love you so much and thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. Hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season and maybe this year I will get the best gift ever....Neema Eva DuPree!! :)

Love,
Heath

This has been probably the longest week of my life. I am anxiously awaiting the 4th postponement of Neema's finalizing court date. On the day of court, the birth father, lawyer, judge, and social welfare officer must all be present. So lets see so far the social welfare officer has been absent once and the judge has been absent once. Let's hope that this time everyone can manage to get there and we can finish this thing. Every single failed attempt has left me asking God, WHY? At every rescheduling I think to myself God was aware that on that date that was set, someone wouldnt be there. I kept thinking He could have assigned a date where He knew we would complete. I know He wants Neema to be with me, so why the delay? He is the only one who is really in control so why are we still waiting? But who am I to ask God why? Who am I to even say his name?! This is my God who sent HIS only child to die for me. And im asking him why I am having to wait for mine? At least He gave her to me. At least I dont have to sacrifice her. At least we are together now. At least she is healthy and thriving. It is so easy to focus on what I dont have instead of focusing on the rich blessings he is showering me with daily. The blessing of waking up to this little angel every morning. The blessing of hearing her sweet voice sing "you are my sunshine." I will wait for this child... FOREVER!

Sweet Jesus,

I pray that on Monday, December 7th you will declare that Neema and I will officially be forever family. I pray that everyone who needs to be there will be present and ready. That through your love and grace we can finalize this adoption and begin the process of returning home. Help me Jesus to remember that this is all in your hands and to not fear for you knew us both before we were even born. Thank you that you are sovereign Lord and thank you for disciplining me to be patience. Help me to not miss out on the little things for looking to much to the future. Guide me in focusing on each day as your precious gift. Thank you for Neema. Thank you that she is so young and does not understand all of this court stuff. Thank you that as I was sad on each day we didnt finalize that I could look into her smiling eyes without a hint of worry or stress because all she knows is that I love her so that it can remind me that I dont need to worry either because you love ME. Lord if you want us to wait 10 more years we will because you asked us to. You are my Father in Heaven, I am nothing apart from you. I long to be united with you in spirit. Come Jesus and fill me with all of who you are. We are looking to you...King of Kings...be glorified.......

Amen.