Why does no one tell you about FOUR?

In the last year or so, I would say I have had new experiences in my parenting with Neema. Experiences I can't say I wanted to deal with at 4 years old! Sassiness....Sneakiness....Testing me... I could say it's because she has begun going to preschool everyday or that I am away from her for three nights a week in my grad classes. But the truth is, I believe she is just getting older and experimenting with her boundaries and discovering more independence.  I am all for that, but there is a line and I'm really asking God to help me find it. Disciplining her is hard because nothing really seems to 'phase' her. She has this inner resilience which makes finding a consequence for her a bit difficult. Neema also has a sense of "spiciness" in her and she always has, it is one of the first things I remember loving about her personality. And I believe that little spirit, naughty as it might be at times, is a gift from God. I do not want to squelch it, in fact on the contrary my actual desire is to nurture it. But there are certain things at our house that just have to be understood. I cannot tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, or disobedience. I am on an all out pilgrimage talking to every parent I know and trust about what to do and how to handle the above situations when they occur. I have gotten lots of advice but none better than from my own dad the other night. When I was younger there were not many boundaries. I kind of did as I pleased and usually got what I wanted. But as I have grown up I have learned that the 'real world' does not cater to my every desire and I cannot always talk everyone into giving me my way and my most recent struggle with realizing my lack of CONTROL over situations. Looking back it's ironic, because I wish there had been more expected of me, maybe I would have been more prepared for this demanding world. But my dad was quick to remind me that no matter what they should or could have done differently, I have always just been a bit "spicy" and even though I may not have always made the best decisions it's that "pushing the envelope" part of my personality that put me on a plane to go and live in Africa and end up adopting a child! So when Neema is toeing that line, I will try to remember that my prayer for her should be that God would ignite that fire inside of her for GOOD, for his PURPOSES, for the KINGDOM!!!!