Why does no one tell you about FOUR?

In the last year or so, I would say I have had new experiences in my parenting with Neema. Experiences I can't say I wanted to deal with at 4 years old! Sassiness....Sneakiness....Testing me... I could say it's because she has begun going to preschool everyday or that I am away from her for three nights a week in my grad classes. But the truth is, I believe she is just getting older and experimenting with her boundaries and discovering more independence.  I am all for that, but there is a line and I'm really asking God to help me find it. Disciplining her is hard because nothing really seems to 'phase' her. She has this inner resilience which makes finding a consequence for her a bit difficult. Neema also has a sense of "spiciness" in her and she always has, it is one of the first things I remember loving about her personality. And I believe that little spirit, naughty as it might be at times, is a gift from God. I do not want to squelch it, in fact on the contrary my actual desire is to nurture it. But there are certain things at our house that just have to be understood. I cannot tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, or disobedience. I am on an all out pilgrimage talking to every parent I know and trust about what to do and how to handle the above situations when they occur. I have gotten lots of advice but none better than from my own dad the other night. When I was younger there were not many boundaries. I kind of did as I pleased and usually got what I wanted. But as I have grown up I have learned that the 'real world' does not cater to my every desire and I cannot always talk everyone into giving me my way and my most recent struggle with realizing my lack of CONTROL over situations. Looking back it's ironic, because I wish there had been more expected of me, maybe I would have been more prepared for this demanding world. But my dad was quick to remind me that no matter what they should or could have done differently, I have always just been a bit "spicy" and even though I may not have always made the best decisions it's that "pushing the envelope" part of my personality that put me on a plane to go and live in Africa and end up adopting a child! So when Neema is toeing that line, I will try to remember that my prayer for her should be that God would ignite that fire inside of her for GOOD, for his PURPOSES, for the KINGDOM!!!!

Neema and I met up with some of our favorite friends - Taylor and Lilla (wearewises@blogspot.com) - at the Y tonight around 5pm. I thought we would just swim for like an hour or so to get out some extra energy, but around 6 they started cooking hamburgers and hotdogs and set up a jammin DJ. We decided to stay for the cookout and dance party and while weekends look way different than they did a couple of years ago, I'm loving my simple Friday night agenda. Here is a video of Neema Girl and Lilla B breaking it down in the pool. :)

I did not know this until Friday but I have 2 friends who have been pursuing a homeless man in Atlanta for over a year. This man stands on the corner off of a busy exit downtown and I would venture to guess that many of you have maybe even seen him. They have invited him to church several times and he never accepted, but they have been able to convince him to join them for lunch a few times. They have developed a relationship with this dear man and last week he took them up on their offer to take him to church. Christin and I had a bachelorette party this weekend and because we carpooled together, she asked me if I wanted to come to breakfast and church with her, her husband, and their friend Johnny. What a blessing it was. We picked him up at 9am at the exit and he was so excited to see their car. He had his bicycle and so we pulled over and let him put it in the car. He also had his Bible and the biggest smile. He told us that he was so excited about church and he had decided that even if Sandor and Christin didn't come get him, he was going anyway. (Many people from Kairos know him as he stands at the exit where so many people come from) He told us he had been talking to God all week about finally coming and how he was going to take a chance and trust him. You see, Sundays are a busy day at "work" for people like Johnny, because there are more people around on the weekends and maybe he can get more handouts. But this is not the life Johnny wants. He wants a job, he wants to contribute to society, and he wants friends. Johnny is God's child and longs to be loved. And let me tell you something....he is. I could not believe how many people recognized him at church and came by and stopped and talked to him. I will also say that Johnny knows the Lord. He talked about him all morning. When it was time to take up the offering, he pulled out all the change in his pocket and put it in the basket. Here is this man that sits on the corner rain or shine and has to ask people for money for food, but still gives what he has to God. It was powerful. This is the story that came to mind....

Mark 12: 41-44

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Do we trust Jesus? This is a question that I find to be asking myself ALL THE TIME. One of the reasons I love Africa so much is because of the blind faith that I witness on a daily basis. These hearts that are so eager for Jesus is refreshing and humbling. But there is also struggle and injustice. And praying is not enough. These people who are sick, poor, hungry, they know Jesus. He is with them. What they need is love, dignity, and sometimes a helping hand. Today at church, I learned that several people have spoken to Johnny about his skills, one guy has helped him make a resume, another guy has been searching for employment opportunities for him. People love him. And today I hope he felt that. And I hope it might open doors to welcome more of our many brothers and sisters around downtown Atlanta who need that love and encouragement. I hope we can be a community who says 'we want to stand with you. you matter.'

Neema was not at church with me this morning, so tonight before bed I told her a little about my time with Johnny. We thanked God for him, we praised Him because we hope and believe that good things are on the horizon for Johnny and that a new day is coming where he will not wonder where his next meal is coming from, or if he will have a safe place to sleep. We humbly asked that God would remove invisible barriers that we all have against people who are different than we are and asked for eyes to see each other as he sees us. All poor. All lost. All in desperate need of a Savior.

At the end of the prayer, Neema said, "I want to give Johnny all the money in my piggy bank."

Lord, help me have a heart like Johnny and Neema's - heart full of faith and generosity. Eyes to see to see you for who you REALLY are.

Realities

I notice I have not posted since May. That is depressing. Let's just say summer for me this year has not really been 'summer.' I started summer school at the end of May and just finished last Thursday. Whew!!!! Feels good to be done. It has been a loooooooooooooong couple of months. I took 2 classes per session and it was hard. My class schedule was from 1-6 everyday and with it being in such a condensed amount of time there was a lot of outside class work. I discovered that by the time Neema and I got home, eaten dinner, and got her in bed, i was just DONE. I could not bring my brain to a place of focus. Therefore, I had to get up the next day and do work all morning until we would eat lunch and then I would drop Neema off at her babysitter and start the whole thing over again. This schedule was hard for everyone in my program and we would collectively complain about our lack of social lives and the strenuous hours inside over books, but for me it took time away from my baby and I never want to have a school schedule like this again. I felt like I was not being there enough for her and I felt frustrated that there were not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I wanted. I had moments of feeling sorry for myself and wondered WHY things were this way! They didn't have to be like this!!!!! But then God reminded me he is with me always, to the very end of time (matthew 28:20) and His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

As many of you know, a big motivator for me to push through these two semesters of school was that I was going to Tanzania at the end for 10 days before I start back teaching in the fall. I have not been since November and I was missing my other 5 babies like crazy!! (www.takesawholevillage@blogspot.com) I had my flight booked, supplies purchased, ready to go love on them and breathe in the place that stole my heart back in 2006. However, these were not the plans of God. My parents just sold their house and the move would have to take place in the middle of my time in Africa. Our family has lived in this house for 15 years and oh there is A LOT of stuff (this is a whole other post, im not sure I even want to reveal) and so in light of all that comes with this kind of move, my mama did not feel like she could keep Neema.

From my tiny little perspective, this could not be worse timing. I have to go to Africa. I have to see my babies. I NEED My Africa at least once a year to keep my sanity! Surely, God will work this out, as He is the one who gave me this love for this place, He is the one who gave me Jumanne, Rehema, Witness, Miriam, and Fabien! He is the one who set my heart on fire for these people. MY FAMILY that is so far from me, He will get me to them...surely! A few days went by and I prayed. I waited. And he said, "No. You need to stay with Neema." My heart was torn, on one hand, I was happy about that. I hate going a day long plane ride away from her, being separated by continents, and being apart for 2 weeks. But what about my littles who live so far from me? Who I do not even know when I will get a chance to see again!? Heart.was.broken. I did not understand!! But again, God met me and I heard from him, "I will protect the orphans who remain among you. Your widows, too, can depend on me for help." (Jeremiah 49:11). -- Please please don't take this verse and justify not helping them. We are still called to love them and walk alongside them, we just obviously cannot do it all and I believe God was trying to encourage me that while I can't be in two places at one time, I can rest assure that HE can! And this time, what I know is what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice. (21:3). So I choose to trust Him.

And I can't say it's a terrible deal considering I get to stay home with this little LOVE..............

photo credit: Brandi Leann Hoyos

Birthdays and Royal Wedding

So I am sooo behind on these, but im posting them none the less!

A friend of my sister had an all out PARTY for the Royal Wedding. Cake, veils, games, fine china, everything for the BIG DAY!! :) It made getting up so early so worth it!!

Bride and Groom

Go England!

This little princess did not want to wake up, but she felt better when she got to put on that crown.

Eating her breakfast in Royal Style


Hannah and Joseph's Birthday Party!!

I love how her cotton candy matches her skirt!

Hannah and Neema - I hope they will be lifetime friends. They will...right Shell?

How much do you want to just kiss that little rabbit???

some of my favorites!

Charles Tucker!!!

Oh how we prayed for this little one. I wanted a picture with him too...and his darling sister Mary Taylor!

Oh the Faithfulness

So in my last post I was a little stressed. I am remembering that place and that feeling of just being so slammed. There are peaks and valleys in this life and today I write about how God brings me from the depths. In May, Neema and I are striking out on our own in America! It is something that has been on my heart for awhile now and just feeling that nudge from God that it's time.... So I began looking around on Craigslist and driving through different areas at rent signs. I learned quickly that unless I wanted to live in Watkinsville, I was going to have to pay a little more on rent than i had anticipated. I found a cute little townhouse in Smyrna that would have totally been "doable" but I just wasn't that excited about it. I looked at several different apartments but they all started running together in my mind and I just got overwhelmed with the process. So Neema and I just started to pray. We asked God to show us where he wanted us to live. Where does he want us to start our life together and what is best for us?

One day my friend Christin invited us over to her apartment for coffee and muffins. These apartments were nicer than some of the ones i had been looking at and I knew they would be out of our price range. But just for fun, I came home and looked them up online. I met with someone on Monday after school and she gave me a tour. They had a zillion floor plans, no two are exactly alike, but there was one that I loved. It's on the second floor with a patio that overlooks a peacful creek, the kitchen is open and I can see straight into the den and its in a great location in the complex. And it was less expensive than any of the others that I had looked at! Only problem was I wanted to move in May and this was available now. I told the girl I had to think about it. It didnt make sense for me to move now because Neema is still in school all the way in Brookhaven. Anyway, turns out they agreed to work with me and let me move in May (some negotiations) and I couldnt be more thrilled about our first little home (in US).

I am so excited that Christin and Sandor are going to be just one little road over. And last night I found out that my friends Ashton and Eric might be moving there too when they get married in the fall!! What???? Two couple friends in our complex? That is amazing! Last night we were talking about how we are going to be like "FRIENDS" and we'll have cookouts together and take turns doing Saturday breakfasts. :) It's all so exciting. God is so good to surround us with great friends in a great community and He got us such a deal. I'm thankful.

In other wonderful God news. I am so thrilled to announce Neema girl is going to be going to PreK at Trinity School next year!!!!!! Such a huge praise! Now there will be no more crazy coordinating who can drop her off for me in the morning and what if she's on a holiday and I'm not, who can pick her up if I have to stay late, etc. etc. etc. We will be on the SAME schedule and it's glorious! Not to mention she will be getting to experience an incredible learning environment. I am teaching PreK next year as well and so she will be so close to me. I wont be her teacher obviously, but I'll get to see her on the playground and throughout the day in various activities. God is so faithful to find us the perfect apartment and provide us a way to go to the same school. I am just overcome by the attention to detail he has for our lives.

This is all God. He is our provider and our sustainer. I will always tell of his faithfulness. To Him be the glory.

Learning to Fly

Well hello! It has been awhile! I am so excited to be sitting at Starbucks right now and actually a few minutes to write all the things that have been sitting in the draft box of my brain and heart. But I literally have not had enough free time to sit and write in weeks! This semester has hit me hard....I am taking 9 hours of class this semester as opposed to the 4.5 hours I took last fall and woah it has taken over my life! Much more homework and just mentally more draining. The transition has been tough and it's affected more than just my blog life. Monday through Wednesday I see Neema for about an hour a day. :( And during that time its not even always quality time, i would love to say that I make the most of that precious time with her and I get down on the floor and we do puzzles and play candy land, but its just not the case. I find that during the little free time I have during those days I'm rushing trying to get other things done I need to do whatever it may be and I am just not giving her the attention she needs and deserves. There have been days when I just broke down in tears because I feel like im being the worst mama! Expressing this concern, I have heard "but you are in school and that is what is best for Neema in the long run." or "Neema won't remember this time, she is only 4" and I know there are little truths to these statements, but you never get these days back, we never get any days back and each one is so precious!
I am on Spring Break for Trinity this week, but it has not been spring break for me. I had two midterms and I have been working at the International Community School for the first part of this week (which is another blog post to come - eventually) so this week has been even crazier than normal as I have been staying down there until 3.
My whole family is gone as they are all off in fun places...and Neema has been with a babysitter. However, today I take the day off. I am taking the morning to myself. We laid in bed until 8am, I took Neema to school at 9am and I should be using this day to do homework because I have a lot (big projects due soon) but I'm not. I want to go for a run. I want to blog. And i want to spend a lot of time with Jesus. Man do I need to be refueled. And that I have been. I have been running ragged, but as I have been able to finally take a pit stop I can sit here and see how he has sustained me. How in all the craziness He has provided and how he drawn me to moments of rest with him here and there but today I feel like I got to have more than just a little rest, but more like a hibernation. Just soaking him up and now I feel like I'm dripping in His grace.
This life God has called me to and continues to call me to is not the easiest and its scary but I am so full. He is so good and I am thankful for these days when I can slow down enough to reflect on his faithfulness.

Matthew 11:28-29
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."