Saving Grace

2012-01-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

I can feel it rising up in me like a pit in the stomach, panic attack, out of control feeling that I can do nothing about. I have been having a lot of these moments lately. In this season of life where there are so many question marks for me, I find that when I think about all the uncertainties and all the circumstances out of my control for too long it's enough to send me into hyperventilation mode. I feel like there are a world of opportunities ahead of me but I can't get to them until some other pieces in my life fall together first. Herein lies the problem.....when are those pieces going to actually come together? Or are they? Am I waiting in vain? I feel like I am playing the game SORRY and I just sent someone home and I get to move 20 spaces but I can't move because there is a blockade. I can't do anything about that blockade, I am at the mercy of the person who has set up the blockade before me. This is such an aggravating feeling!!!! I think I have finally hit the pinnacle of frustration that on Sunday it brought me to my face and I found myself confronting God about it. I have this resentment towards him because I don't understand. But in this crying out to Him I realize he is drawing me back to Himself. I need Him so badly to open my blind eyes. To remind me of His sovereignty of His goodness. Will I continue to be patient even if *I* think I have already been patient......will I keep trusting Him even when things don't make sense? Will I receive his words even when they are not what I want to hear? Questions I am asking myself and reexamining my heart. I know He is good and His promises are true but this life is hard!!!!!!

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

2012-01-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

I have been waiting for 2012 for a long time. This is a big year for us. Neema will hopefully be granted full citizenship, I will complete my graduate studies and student teaching, and for the first time in 2 years Neema and I will be free to travel together anywhere in the world! Oh the possibilities! We have definitely been and continue to be in a season of waiting. The uncertainty of our futures is most evident in my life because this could be a year of major transition for us. We don't know what plans the Lord has as I start this next leg of my journey. Will I get a job in Atlanta? Will He call me back to Tanzania? What are the implications of either of these decisions? Will I hear Him clearly? Will I obey? Will I be thankful regardless of the road He sets out before me? I know I can trust Him because I have seen his faithfulness - His faithfulness in bringing Neema and I together. Granting her a visa. Giving me an awesome and supportive family here and in Tanzania. Making a last minute spot available in grad school, Opening a door at Trinity - for myself and Neema - the greatest school ever! So when I struggle with these strenuous times of waiting, I try to look back at how far He has brought us and how He has loved us and provided. I have so many reasons to be thankful for last year and I am very excited about the year ahead!

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;

Psalm 27

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2011-12-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

Ok I have not updated in FOREVER. I feel like I always say that.....so my New Years Resolution is to blog more frequently. I am hoping that next semester only having class one night a week will allow more time. So enjoy Halloween to Christmas.....

Neema picking out the perfect pumpkin.

Enjoying the pumpkin patch

The dancer - Happy Halloween!!!!!!

Neema's 5th Birthday! I have to admit this was actually kind of a hard day for me. I can't believe she is already five. You always hear mamas talk about how fast it goes, but it's true! At the same time I am very grateful that God has been so faithful and is continuing to grow her into the wonderful little girl she is. I know He has such amazing plans for her life.

So classic.

"Fairies" enjoying their cupcakes with fairy dust.

Neema was Mary in her class Nativity play. Getting excited about Christmas!!!

Decorating the tree. Singing Christmas songs. Drinking Hot Chocolate. Love Christmas!

Christmas Eve Service. Silent Night
Christmas Eve.....

Why does no one tell you about FOUR?

2011-09-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

In the last year or so, I would say I have had new experiences in my parenting with Neema. Experiences I can't say I wanted to deal with at 4 years old! Sassiness....Sneakiness....Testing me... I could say it's because she has begun going to preschool everyday or that I am away from her for three nights a week in my grad classes. But the truth is, I believe she is just getting older and experimenting with her boundaries and discovering more independence. I am all for that, but there is a line and I'm really asking God to help me find it. Disciplining her is hard because nothing really seems to 'phase' her. She has this inner resilience which makes finding a consequence for her a bit difficult. Neema also has a sense of "spiciness" in her and she always has, it is one of the first things I remember loving about her personality. And I believe that little spirit, naughty as it might be at times, is a gift from God. I do not want to squelch it, in fact on the contrary my actual desire is to nurture it. But there are certain things at our house that just have to be understood. I cannot tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, or disobedience. I am on an all out pilgrimage talking to every parent I know and trust about what to do and how to handle the above situations when they occur. I have gotten lots of advice but none better than from my own dad the other night. When I was younger there were not many boundaries. I kind of did as I pleased and usually got what I wanted. But as I have grown up I have learned that the 'real world' does not cater to my every desire and I cannot always talk everyone into giving me my way and my most recent struggle with realizing my lack of CONTROL over situations. Looking back it's ironic, because I wish there had been more expected of me, maybe I would have been more prepared for this demanding world. But my dad was quick to remind me that no matter what they should or could have done differently, I have always just been a bit "spicy" and even though I may not have always made the best decisions it's that "pushing the envelope" part of my personality that put me on a plane to go and live in Africa and end up adopting a child! So when Neema is toeing that line, I will try to remember that my prayer for her should be that God would ignite that fire inside of her for GOOD, for his PURPOSES, for the KINGDOM!!!!

2011-08-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

Neema and I met up with some of our favorite friends - Taylor and Lilla (wearewises@blogspot.com) - at the Y tonight around 5pm. I thought we would just swim for like an hour or so to get out some extra energy, but around 6 they started cooking hamburgers and hotdogs and set up a jammin DJ. We decided to stay for the cookout and dance party and while weekends look way different than they did a couple of years ago, I'm loving my simple Friday night agenda. Here is a video of Neema Girl and Lilla B breaking it down in the pool. :)

2011-08-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

I did not know this until Friday but I have 2 friends who have been pursuing a homeless man in Atlanta for over a year. This man stands on the corner off of a busy exit downtown and I would venture to guess that many of you have maybe even seen him. They have invited him to church several times and he never accepted, but they have been able to convince him to join them for lunch a few times. They have developed a relationship with this dear man and last week he took them up on their offer to take him to church. Christin and I had a bachelorette party this weekend and because we carpooled together, she asked me if I wanted to come to breakfast and church with her, her husband, and their friend Johnny. What a blessing it was. We picked him up at 9am at the exit and he was so excited to see their car. He had his bicycle and so we pulled over and let him put it in the car. He also had his Bible and the biggest smile. He told us that he was so excited about church and he had decided that even if Sandor and Christin didn't come get him, he was going anyway. (Many people from Kairos know him as he stands at the exit where so many people come from) He told us he had been talking to God all week about finally coming and how he was going to take a chance and trust him. You see, Sundays are a busy day at "work" for people like Johnny, because there are more people around on the weekends and maybe he can get more handouts. But this is not the life Johnny wants. He wants a job, he wants to contribute to society, and he wants friends. Johnny is God's child and longs to be loved. And let me tell you something....he is. I could not believe how many people recognized him at church and came by and stopped and talked to him. I will also say that Johnny knows the Lord. He talked about him all morning. When it was time to take up the offering, he pulled out all the change in his pocket and put it in the basket. Here is this man that sits on the corner rain or shine and has to ask people for money for food, but still gives what he has to God. It was powerful. This is the story that came to mind....

Mark 12: 41-44

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Do we trust Jesus? This is a question that I find to be asking myself ALL THE TIME. One of the reasons I love Africa so much is because of the blind faith that I witness on a daily basis. These hearts that are so eager for Jesus is refreshing and humbling. But there is also struggle and injustice. And praying is not enough. These people who are sick, poor, hungry, they know Jesus. He is with them. What they need is love, dignity, and sometimes a helping hand. Today at church, I learned that several people have spoken to Johnny about his skills, one guy has helped him make a resume, another guy has been searching for employment opportunities for him. People love him. And today I hope he felt that. And I hope it might open doors to welcome more of our many brothers and sisters around downtown Atlanta who need that love and encouragement. I hope we can be a community who says 'we want to stand with you. you matter.'

Neema was not at church with me this morning, so tonight before bed I told her a little about my time with Johnny. We thanked God for him, we praised Him because we hope and believe that good things are on the horizon for Johnny and that a new day is coming where he will not wonder where his next meal is coming from, or if he will have a safe place to sleep. We humbly asked that God would remove invisible barriers that we all have against people who are different than we are and asked for eyes to see each other as he sees us. All poor. All lost. All in desperate need of a Savior.

At the end of the prayer, Neema said, "I want to give Johnny all the money in my piggy bank."

Lord, help me have a heart like Johnny and Neema's - heart full of faith and generosity. Eyes to see to see you for who you REALLY are.

Realities

2011-08-02T06:22:00.000-07:00

I notice I have not posted since May. That is depressing. Let's just say summer for me this year has not really been 'summer.' I started summer school at the end of May and just finished last Thursday. Whew!!!! Feels good to be done. It has been a loooooooooooooong couple of months. I took 2 classes per session and it was hard. My class schedule was from 1-6 everyday and with it being in such a condensed amount of time there was a lot of outside class work. I discovered that by the time Neema and I got home, eaten dinner, and got her in bed, i was just DONE. I could not bring my brain to a place of focus. Therefore, I had to get up the next day and do work all morning until we would eat lunch and then I would drop Neema off at her babysitter and start the whole thing over again. This schedule was hard for everyone in my program and we would collectively complain about our lack of social lives and the strenuous hours inside over books, but for me it took time away from my baby and I never want to have a school schedule like this again. I felt like I was not being there enough for her and I felt frustrated that there were not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I wanted. I had moments of feeling sorry for myself and wondered WHY things were this way! They didn't have to be like this!!!!! But then God reminded me he is with me always, to the very end of time (matthew 28:20) and His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

As many of you know, a big motivator for me to push through these two semesters of school was that I was going to Tanzania at the end for 10 days before I start back teaching in the fall. I have not been since November and I was missing my other 5 babies like crazy!! (www.takesawholevillage@blogspot.com) I had my flight booked, supplies purchased, ready to go love on them and breathe in the place that stole my heart back in 2006. However, these were not the plans of God. My parents just sold their house and the move would have to take place in the middle of my time in Africa. Our family has lived in this house for 15 years and oh there is A LOT of stuff (this is a whole other post, im not sure I even want to reveal) and so in light of all that comes with this kind of move, my mama did not feel like she could keep Neema.

From my tiny little perspective, this could not be worse timing. I have to go to Africa. I have to see my babies. I NEED My Africa at least once a year to keep my sanity! Surely, God will work this out, as He is the one who gave me this love for this place, He is the one who gave me Jumanne, Rehema, Witness, Miriam, and Fabien! He is the one who set my heart on fire for these people. MY FAMILY that is so far from me, He will get me to them...surely! A few days went by and I prayed. I waited. And he said, "No. You need to stay with Neema." My heart was torn, on one hand, I was happy about that. I hate going a day long plane ride away from her, being separated by continents, and being apart for 2 weeks. But what about my littles who live so far from me? Who I do not even know when I will get a chance to see again!? Heart.was.broken. I did not understand!! But again, God met me and I heard from him, "I will protect the orphans who remain among you. Your widows, too, can depend on me for help." (Jeremiah 49:11). -- Please please don't take this verse and justify not helping them. We are still called to love them and walk alongside them, we just obviously cannot do it all and I believe God was trying to encourage me that while I can't be in two places at one time, I can rest assure that HE can! And this time, what I know is what is right and just is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice. (21:3). So I choose to trust Him.

And I can't say it's a terrible deal considering I get to stay home with this little LOVE..............

photo credit: Brandi Leann Hoyos

Birthdays and Royal Wedding

2011-05-31T18:16:00.001-07:00

So I am sooo behind on these, but im posting them none the less!

A friend of my sister had an all out PARTY for the Royal Wedding. Cake, veils, games, fine china, everything for the BIG DAY!! :) It made getting up so early so worth it!!

Bride and Groom

Go England!

This little princess did not want to wake up, but she felt better when she got to put on that crown.

Eating her breakfast in Royal Style

Hannah and Joseph's Birthday Party!!

I love how her cotton candy matches her skirt!

Hannah and Neema - I hope they will be lifetime friends. They will...right Shell?

How much do you want to just kiss that little rabbit???

some of my favorites!

Charles Tucker!!!

Oh how we prayed for this little one. I wanted a picture with him too...and his darling sister Mary Taylor!

Oh the Faithfulness

2011-04-09T10:30:00.001-07:00

So in my last post I was a little stressed. I am remembering that place and that feeling of just being so slammed. There are peaks and valleys in this life and today I write about how God brings me from the depths. In May, Neema and I are striking out on our own in America! It is something that has been on my heart for awhile now and just feeling that nudge from God that it's time.... So I began looking around on Craigslist and driving through different areas at rent signs. I learned quickly that unless I wanted to live in Watkinsville, I was going to have to pay a little more on rent than i had anticipated. I found a cute little townhouse in Smyrna that would have totally been "doable" but I just wasn't that excited about it. I looked at several different apartments but they all started running together in my mind and I just got overwhelmed with the process. So Neema and I just started to pray. We asked God to show us where he wanted us to live. Where does he want us to start our life together and what is best for us?

One day my friend Christin invited us over to her apartment for coffee and muffins. These apartments were nicer than some of the ones i had been looking at and I knew they would be out of our price range. But just for fun, I came home and looked them up online. I met with someone on Monday after school and she gave me a tour. They had a zillion floor plans, no two are exactly alike, but there was one that I loved. It's on the second floor with a patio that overlooks a peacful creek, the kitchen is open and I can see straight into the den and its in a great location in the complex. And it was less expensive than any of the others that I had looked at! Only problem was I wanted to move in May and this was available now. I told the girl I had to think about it. It didnt make sense for me to move now because Neema is still in school all the way in Brookhaven. Anyway, turns out they agreed to work with me and let me move in May (some negotiations) and I couldnt be more thrilled about our first little home (in US).

I am so excited that Christin and Sandor are going to be just one little road over. And last night I found out that my friends Ashton and Eric might be moving there too when they get married in the fall!! What???? Two couple friends in our complex? That is amazing! Last night we were talking about how we are going to be like "FRIENDS" and we'll have cookouts together and take turns doing Saturday breakfasts. :) It's all so exciting. God is so good to surround us with great friends in a great community and He got us such a deal. I'm thankful.

In other wonderful God news. I am so thrilled to announce Neema girl is going to be going to PreK at Trinity School next year!!!!!! Such a huge praise! Now there will be no more crazy coordinating who can drop her off for me in the morning and what if she's on a holiday and I'm not, who can pick her up if I have to stay late, etc. etc. etc. We will be on the SAME schedule and it's glorious! Not to mention she will be getting to experience an incredible learning environment. I am teaching PreK next year as well and so she will be so close to me. I wont be her teacher obviously, but I'll get to see her on the playground and throughout the day in various activities. God is so faithful to find us the perfect apartment and provide us a way to go to the same school. I am just overcome by the attention to detail he has for our lives.

This is all God. He is our provider and our sustainer. I will always tell of his faithfulness. To Him be the glory.

Learning to Fly

2011-03-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

Well hello! It has been awhile! I am so excited to be sitting at Starbucks right now and actually a few minutes to write all the things that have been sitting in the draft box of my brain and heart. But I literally have not had enough free time to sit and write in weeks! This semester has hit me hard....I am taking 9 hours of class this semester as opposed to the 4.5 hours I took last fall and woah it has taken over my life! Much more homework and just mentally more draining. The transition has been tough and it's affected more than just my blog life. Monday through Wednesday I see Neema for about an hour a day. :( And during that time its not even always quality time, i would love to say that I make the most of that precious time with her and I get down on the floor and we do puzzles and play candy land, but its just not the case. I find that during the little free time I have during those days I'm rushing trying to get other things done I need to do whatever it may be and I am just not giving her the attention she needs and deserves. There have been days when I just broke down in tears because I feel like im being the worst mama! Expressing this concern, I have heard "but you are in school and that is what is best for Neema in the long run." or "Neema won't remember this time, she is only 4" and I know there are little truths to these statements, but you never get these days back, we never get any days back and each one is so precious!
I am on Spring Break for Trinity this week, but it has not been spring break for me. I had two midterms and I have been working at the International Community School for the first part of this week (which is another blog post to come - eventually) so this week has been even crazier than normal as I have been staying down there until 3.
My whole family is gone as they are all off in fun places...and Neema has been with a babysitter. However, today I take the day off. I am taking the morning to myself. We laid in bed until 8am, I took Neema to school at 9am and I should be using this day to do homework because I have a lot (big projects due soon) but I'm not. I want to go for a run. I want to blog. And i want to spend a lot of time with Jesus. Man do I need to be refueled. And that I have been. I have been running ragged, but as I have been able to finally take a pit stop I can sit here and see how he has sustained me. How in all the craziness He has provided and how he drawn me to moments of rest with him here and there but today I feel like I got to have more than just a little rest, but more like a hibernation. Just soaking him up and now I feel like I'm dripping in His grace.
This life God has called me to and continues to call me to is not the easiest and its scary but I am so full. He is so good and I am thankful for these days when I can slow down enough to reflect on his faithfulness.

Matthew 11:28-29
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Adoption Conference

2011-02-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I had the opportunity to join 250 other mamas who have either adopted or are waiting to bring their child home! The retreat was at Lake Lanier Islands - which i never knew was so nice! Oh what a great grown up getaway! I roomed with two friends who I rarely see and we got to talk and stay up late with no distractions from all the little ones. We ate a lot of food and inhaled a lot of Jesus! Before I adopted Neema I really didnt know very many other people who had adopted, but to be in a room with this many other people who share my same heart was incredible! I even got to meet the super mamas who run http://www.147millionorphans.com - celebrities in the adoption world! :) There blogs got me through many a tough night in ole Tanzania town.

There were amazing break out sessions with speakers from all over the country. The ones I attended were (1) Finding strength in the Lord as a busy mom - yep, definitely attended that one! (2) Parenting your child in the Spirit - loved this one! (3) Something to Talk About. This was all about how to go about talking to your child about their history and where they came from and helping them find their Identity as a child of God. Learned some great truths in this one. I am so thankful that Neema has a beautiful story and began with a family who loved(s) her so much!

In between break out sessions I caught a class on African American Care! Yes I did. And left more overwhelmed than when I started. You should have seen the amount of products the speakers were displaying....According to them if Neema had been with me she would have needed a suitcase of hair products alone....Still trying to wrap my head around this. How old does she have to be to do her own hair? :)

Another fantastic highlight was something that was set up called "Date with God" and I have to say I want more of these! It was a room set up with soft music and little stations all around the room. You could go lie down in a tent with pillows to just rest and listen to Him. Sit at the foot of the cross with scripture and put prayers on post its to be put on the cross. Art tables with painting, drawing, and play doe...each table had you pray what God would have you create to draw you closer to Him. Really powerful. The last station was an area with maps all over the walls with different countries to pray for...to pray for the orphans in each place. I ended up staying in there and overlapping with the next group because it was just such a peaceful place and wonderful time with my maker.

One thing we were challenged to do by one of the speakers was for all 250 of us to aim to impact the lives of 100 orphans this year! To think that the lives of 25,000 babies (children) could somehow be uplifted and/or placed in families this year is incredible to think about and so doable! I am taking it to heart and praying how God can use me in bigger ways to advocate for orphans and vulnerable children. I learned so much about FAITH this weekend and believing in the "impossible." THE GOD WHO GUIDES PROVIDES!

My roomies

This is the video they showed on Friday night. Oh my preciousness!! How this Neema girl has changed my life!!! Maybe someone is waiting out there to change yours.........

Dream Day

2011-01-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

Something cool that God has done in my life in 2010 is he has uniquely brought some very special people into my life.....it's a really long story as to how we all became friends and maybe one day ill tell it but for now suffice it to say that God divinely intertwined our lives and has blessed us with a really wonderful bond! There are 5 of us and we live all over. Stefany lives in Rockhill, South Carolina, Mary lives in Seattle, Washington, Erin is from Dallas, Texas but is currently living in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and Sally and I both live in Atlanta. Due to the geographical distances between us, most of our communication is done through email but we share about everything! Our trials, our triumphs, our worries, our praises everything! If there is something major going on, these are the girls I go to because I know that no one will be quicker than to go straight to the Lord in prayer and petition! I am so thankful for them!

Erin came home from Tanzania for 2 weeks and on her way back she planned a long layover in Atlanta. Stefany, her husband, and three little boys were coming back from Florida so they timed it where they could be here. Upon hearing this, Mary and her hardcore self decided to fly in with her four month old baby to be here for this big gathering. You know just a cross country trip for a 4 hour visit, no big deal. That is what kind of friends these are!

This Sunday I discovered one of my new favorite things about being a mama...watching other people love your children because of how they love you! It was the most beautiful day!!

Stefany meeting Deklan. (Mary's baby)

Sally and Neema

Going to the airport to get Erin....

Neema loves baby Deklan!

Erin and Me with Stefany's boys: Jonah, Joey, and Joel

We kind of took over the childrens' section at Barnes and Noble...

Neema and Stef

Me, Erin, and Mary with Deklan

She adores him!

and so do I!!

I love you girls and your babies!!!! We can't wait to welcome Sally's little one that is due in April! xoxo

Neema's first Christmas in America.

2010-12-26T14:43:00.000-08:00

What can I say about this Christmas....? It was pretty close to perfect! :) For about 2 weeks leading up to the day, Neema would ask "Is today Jesus' birthday?" So we made a big calendar and marked off the day until we reached Christmas Eve....Oh happy day. The night before our Savior's birth! We must have read the Christmas Story a hundred times. Neema loved hearing about the wise men and how they followed the star. She learned a song at school about them and it lead to some really great conversations about who they were and why they were traveling so far to see baby Jesus. A fun tradition that we are starting is to put the wise men far away from the manger scene and everyday leading up to Christmas morning, move them and let Neema find them!

Unfortuanately, my church did not have a Christmas Eve service, so we went to St. Anne's Church with my parents and my sister. We had to wake Neema up from her nap in order to get there for the 4pm service so i'm not sure she really got to enjoy the sweet little pageant the children put on. We stopped by a friend's house after church and then delivered some Christmas goodies, by the time we left we were all pretty hungry especially Neema Girl so we drove around looking for a place to eat dinner. Is that totally tacky and sad that we were eating in a restaurant on Christmas Eve? We ended up at a yummy Italian restaurant where they put us in a private area with a family-like table so it was like we were home, kinda....Anyway, it was nice, no cooking, no cleaning....don't worry we had a real meal in the dining room with the nice china and silverware on Christmas Day. :)

After church and dinner she has pepped up a little!

On Christmas Eve, Neema was allowed to open ONE present...

It is so fun to start these traditions...she is so innocent and naive and has no idea what is to come...

Can we just talk about for one second how these pajamas are 2T??? They were the last size at Target and i was afraid they wouldn't fit her, but alas they do. She is so itty bitty! Fine by me, just means I can hold her like a baby for longer. :)

Christmas Morning!!! Oh the day we have been waiting for! Christ is Born! Even though Neema was with me when I got most of her presents, she still had no idea they were for her. I was able to hold her off until about 8:30am for the sake of my brother and sister who are not morning people. She was begging me for oatmeal, which she eats every morning, she is obsessed! She didnt know that on Christmas morning we make a big breakfast brunch, open presents, sing Christmas songs, have family over, drink cocoa, etc. Oh the fun of firsts.....We will never have another morning like that morning and I savored it!

I sent Neema to wake them and to each she greeted them with "get up, it's JESUS BIRTHDAY!!!"
Good Morning guys! Notice Will and Sims chugging caffiene.

Not sure what is going on here but I just think this picture is funny!

We gather here on these stairs every Christmas morning to pray and reflect on God's goodness and love. Neema still doesnt know.....

Woah!! A new kitchen?! She's like "this is for me??" :)

Just busy on the phone...

What a fun morning...

Kiki and Jud arrive...and with them more gifts. We are so blessed!! Neema loving her twin dolls. Kathryn made them these Lily dresses...how fantastic!

And if the day wasn't perfect enough, God sent us SNOW! Neema's first Christmas home and it's a WHITE CHRISTMAS!! Amazing!

We finished off the night with an amazing dinner in the dining room filled with family and friends. Neema and I made a birthday cake for Jesus and sang to our King! My heart is so full and thankful. His grace still amazes me! I can't believe that Neema is here with me forever and ever. In the busyness of life sometimes I forget how amazing this God story is! I'm sooooo thankful for Neema and that Jesus was born so that I could love her like I do!

Oh Christmas 2010, you were MAGICAL!

Christmas 2009 - Zanzibar, Tanzania. (Also, not too shabby!) :)

today is the day......

2010-11-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up today with such mixed feelings....i'm so excited to be returning to this land I love.....the famaliar smell as I step off the plane...the friendly airport staff who will greet me with such sincerity...the few minutes I will stand there with held breath hoping my bags made it. I'm looking forward to the long drive into town where I just stare out the window soaking in the vast amounts of land scattered with men on bikes, every once in awhile a gathering place lit by candles of men playing pool and chatting into the night. The stars shining down...ahhh HOME.

But this time, my heart's excitement is hindered because I am leaving behind my baby, my sidekick, my bestie, my world. I know that she is not meant to go. I have a peace about leaving her, but every time I feel the excitement about going arise, the high comes crashing down when i remember it means I have to leave her. Please pray for this week, pray it be a productive week with TAWV things, that I resolve some issues I need to resolve there. For safety and health. And for Neema who is staying here with my parents. I am so thankful that we have a God who can be with both of us all the time even when we are not together. I know that he will watch over us and gaurd us during our time apart. Thanks for your prayers. I will be posting on the TAWV blog, so check in for updates! www.takesawholevillage.blogspot.com

Love and Thanks,
Heath

Neema is FOUR!

2010-11-08T19:37:00.000-08:00

My Beautiful Birthday Girl!

This was a big weekend at our house. Lots of planning for the Princess' Party....Only Neema has 2 parties at 4 four years old. On Saturday we had over all of her friends from her class and then our good friends from church, play dates, etc. It was a wonderful day - a little chilly but the sun was shining and children were running and laughing. To be honest, I have been dreading this birthday a little because 4 just seems so much older than 3 and everyday she exemplifies new independence and new abilities just reminding me of how she is growing farther and farther from my little baby and into this little girl. But on the other hand I have to thank God for bringing her into His marvelous light and guiding her to become all that He created her to be!

Preparing with lots of cupcake making and decorating...

Neema and my aunt Kathryn (Neema calls her Kiki or Kiks)

Weekend full of cupcakes....

Neema's party favors

This was Neema's first birthday at home and ahhhh presents!! :)

Henry and Mary Taylor were a little late but they got there just in time for present opening.

Neema loved her sticker dolls.....

Birthday Girl with Bibi

Sunday morning Birthday Breakfast.

Love her little heart.

"I'm FOUR!!"

Second Party. Sunday afternoon gathering to continue the celebrating...sweet friends who Love Neema!! We thank yall for coming!!!! :)

(Below) Tara got Neema this super smooth leather jacket so they could be twins. Looking good!!!

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-03T17:57:00.001-07:00

Neema's first Halloween was so great! We met up with our cute friends Dee, Melissa, Henry, and Mary Taylor! We were not sure if they would be here to trick or treat with us because they are waiting to get the call from Uganda that will lead them to their 2 year old little boy that is there waiting for them! Here are photos of my ladybug!! Oh im just so obsessed with her!!!

Bachelorette Weekend

2010-11-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

My sweet friend Christin is getting married in January and we had such a blast celebrating her engagement with a wonderful "Big Girl" weekend in South Georgia at Joni's cabin......I have to say that it was wonderful sleeping until 9am, sitting in rocking chairs, porch swings, down by the lake (no paranoid child alert) and just sharing life. We rode four wheelers, drank coffee, ate brownies, just lounged and loved. We went to dinner Saturday night and then of course had a little lingerie shower complete with interview from the groom.....such a great weekend. I am very grateful for these friends and for the awesome example of Christ's love in the future marriage of Sandor and Christin! Can't wait Bunny!!!!!!

Reality is setting in...

2010-10-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

I would say we have definitely settled back in...I am in grad school a few afternoons a week and I have just taken a new job assistant teaching every morning until noon. I am LOVING it. I am in a classroom with 3 and 4 year olds and they are precious! It is so fun working with the same age as Neema is. But this has really shaken my days. I can no longer take Neema to school in the mornings and some days dont even pick her up. I really miss this. I miss our mornings of coffee and oatmeal where we kind of lazily got ready for the day over the Today Show and then more coffee. I miss dropping her off at her cute little school and greeting her teachers and saying Hi to the other moms.

But this is reality. We couldn't be together all day forever. She has to go to school and I have to go to work. It's life. But i am adjusting to this new life with so much time apart from her. It's just hard because i feel like I am losing some influence on her life....does anyone know what I mean? She is in the care of so many different people now, her teacher, my mom, her babysitter...That is a lot of different standards of behavior and random amounts of accountability, etc. So this is just something I am really praying through and asking God to help guide me through.

On a lighter note, this is Neema's FIRST 'real' Halloween!!! She was with me last year during Halloween http://babyneema.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html and we dressed up but there were no pumpkins, trick or treating, or CANDY!!! So she is in for a thrill! With my brother, we went and picked out pumpkins last weekend. She was quite obsessed with the little ones. I told her she could get her very own little one and then told her to come help me choose between the fat and round one versus the skinny and tall ones...she only cared about the little one. HA! She doesn't even know you need a big one so can cut off the top and dig out all the gooey orange stuff.....she doesnt know that you carve out a face and put a candle inside that makes it light up the night....She doesn't know that you can cover the pumpkin seeds in salt, brown sugar, or garlic and place them in the oven to eat with warm apple cider. She doesn't know she is about to get HOOKED UP with a basket full of every sugary sweet that no amount of toothpaste will be able to remove! She doesn't know! It's all so exciting!!

There is this really awesome group of people in Atlanta who have all either adopted or are in the process of adopting, some of them for the second time, and about once a month we get together for family fellowship and for our little ones to get to grow up together. It is really beautiful to see all of the littles running around and hearing all the God stories that brought each one home. This Friday we had a "screen on the green" with popcorn and smores....AMAZING! :) What a wonderful club we belong to!

My Baby's First Day of Preschool!

2010-09-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

Aquarium

2010-08-30T12:37:00.001-07:00

I want to do this!!

cupcakes

2010-07-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

We hadn't baked in awhile and in Tanzania it was one of Neema's favorite things to do: help me pour, stir, sift...so I got out the aprons and decided to whip up some funfetti cupcakes!! After being such a great helper, I told Neema she could have one when she woke up from her nap because they needed to cook....surprisingly she slept for so long that day I finally went in there to check on her. I peeled back the covers and her bright eyes peeled open....barely awake she said, "may I have cupcake?" yes yes yes! of course!! I was so excited to plop her on the counter and let her ice and sprinkle the biggest one in the pan. I watched in such delight as she devoured it getting icing all over her face.
About 20 minutes later and then 30 minutes later and then 45 minutes later she kept asking for another cupcake. Every time I would say, "No Neema, you have already had your cupcake today, you may have another tomorrow." And every time she would just sort of pout and express her disappointment. I found this to be really frustrating. Here I am thinking we did something really fun and I have given her this treat and she is not appreciating it, she only wants more and more and more. It made me never want to make cupcakes again, because what was suppose to be special and fun was turning into greediness and fussyness. I did not like it.
Then it had me thinking how so many people receive things such as gifts or opportunities from their parents (and believe me I have definitely been one of these people) but instead of appreciating what they have been given, they simply take it for granted or want more or something else. We just can't be satisfied. We used to talk about this a lot when I worked for Young Life. It is so hard to really 'capture' the attention of teenagers these days because there just isn't much they have not seen. (at least in our area of Atlanta) Materialistically so many of them have everything it seems. But its never enough. We always want more.
Bigger yet, what must God think? In light of His abundant amount of blessings, I am still longing for more all the time. Am I even thankful? Why would He give me anymore of anything? I am incredibly humbled by his patience, mercy, and grace for me. Where I am like, "I'm NEVER making cupcakes again!!!" I know that when its me who is insatiable instead of throwing his hands up and checking out, my God just loves and blesses me anyway. That is AMAZING.

Photo credit to Brian Skaggs who recently returned from one of my all time favorite places in the world: ZIMBABWE. How Great is our God...not only rich in mercy and love but the creator of all things.Matthew 6: 25-34
²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^b]">[b]?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2010-07-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend a group of my best friends from college went to the lake together. It was something we have had planned for a few weeks and girls were coming from outside of Atlanta. Unfortunately, I could not go because my parents had a wedding in Charleston and so they couldn't stay with Neema. I felt sad to miss out on such a fun weekend. Staying connected with my friends is definitely something that has been challenging for me since returning to Atlanta. Many of them are in serious relationships or are married, but they don't have children yet. I find that on most weekends they are either doing couple things or still enjoying the lifestyle allowed for people without children. My parents are great and whenever they can they are more than happy to stay home with Neema, but I find the bigger social scene to just be a bit 'surfacey' and no longer all that appealing.

I just feel like when most people reach this point in their lives they have a partner to share in this new life stage. When you would rather just be home cooking dinner and watching a movie you have a companion with whom to share these after long toddler chasing days. Being a single mama is a very difficult thing and I never once thought it would be anything but, however some days and *ahem* weekends are harder than others. I was speaking to a woman who was once a single mother about all of this and she was telling me stories of that time in her life and how she was about my same age and she didn't have any real friends. It can be a lonely time when you feel no one around you is in your same place. I'm sure she was thinking why in the world did I CHOOSE to place myself in the position to be a single mother.

To which I would respond, I did not choose this path. It was a calling. It was something God put on my heart and I just answered. I am so obsessed with this little girl and she is my whole world. But with that, there are downsides, because now my whole world is not about me. There are so many aspects of my life that have be doubley considered now because I have this other person I am in care of. There are times that that simple truth can overwhelm me to tears. And I find myself not really wanting to be in that place. But it is during those times that I feel so close to my Savior, because I'm pretty sure he didn't want to be on that cross. ("Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42) So I cling to my desire to want to be like Jesus and I try to continue to walk the steps that God alone has put before me because really the whole world never was about me. So there may be times when I'm tempted to wonder about this cup that has been given to me, but I pray for the strength and obedience to die to myself and trust in His perfect plan. The glory is His.

"Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Luke 9: 23-24

From the lips of children

2010-07-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how children sometimes say things that maybe the rest of us are thinking but would NEVER say....? For example, the other day this woman at the pool was wearing a bikini and she was a full figured woman and she was lets just say overflowing from her top...Neema looked at me and said "Mama, she needs to COVER UP! That is private!" I was hoping to goodness the woman didn't hear her!

A few days ago, at the lake the cleaning lady came over and I think she may have been smoking since she was about 4 years old because her voice was so deep she didn't even sound human. She was incredibly nice woman and looked down and spoke to Neema. I was sitting there thinking "please dont say anything about the weirdness of her voice....." fortunately, she didn't this time.

Well, tonight as I was putting her to bed and we were saying our nightly prayers, one thing I was asking is that God would help us to remember that our lives are not our own and that things are just not really about us. "Please help us to remember its about Jesus. Let it be about Jesus...." And Neema said, "yes Let it be about Neema..."

When I left her room, I had to laugh because this is the truth. Deep in our hearts, this is what we all subconciously want. We are all fighting this innate desire for the world to be about us. Aren't we all chasing this in some way? Success so we get praise...or money to go spend on ourselves...awards so we can receive in front of crowd...new clothes so we will look good and people will look at us....being funny so people will be around us....i could go on.

I think this is why its so important to be around children because they just speak the truth that I so desperately need!

Being Caught

2010-07-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

This week we went to the lake to spend time with some of our family who we rarely see. My cousin Ashley and her husband Stefan live in Boston and we were so excited to see them and introduce Neema to their children James (3) and Maya (1).

Some of my first favorite family moments:
Neema's first time ever on a boat and James explaining everything: fast motor boat, where to sit, how to drive and the art of tubing.
Taking turns feeding the fish at the boat house. James' graciously letting Neema go first.
Seeing Neema and Maya in their matching red, white, and blue bathing suits and hugging so tightly for pictures.
Making s'mores and being ok with the fact that there was sticky marshmellows and melted chocolate all over everywhere and then seeing them laugh with glee as we put all three in a big bathtub!
listening to Uncle Jud/Grande tell a made up story about how the children saved the grown-ups as all three of them sat in footie pajamas listening intently to what would happen next!
hearing their little voices as they talk about who knows what over baskets of hot dogs at their miniature table on the porch.
Just loving all of their little barefeet running around in life jackets that are bigger than they are! - Simply delicious! :)

please look at James' sweet little hand.

There was one moment that struck me however and really inspired this post. We were sitting in the grassy yard at the end of the day all wrapped in towels, Maya walked by and Ashley grabbed her and pulled her to herself. Maya just giggled the cutest little giggle I have ever seen. She then got up and Ashley was going to let her go but then she kinda looked back at her mama as if to say "get me..." and then Ash caught on and grabbed her again pulling her in and tickling her and said "oh you want to be caught!" They then proceeded to play this little "ill get you" game for the next few minutes.
I couldn't help but think we are all like that....wanting to be 'caught.' We are independent people and want to accomplish things and feel self-sufficient even in control sometimes, but I think at the core we all want to be 'caught.' We want to feel safe and at the end of the day take that deep sigh of relief like its all ok.....we all run from things and it is just so exhausting. When we can finally just stop and trust or just hand it over or just surrender whatever it is you are running from their is such comfort in just being 'caught'
Like Maya, who knew her Mama was gonna keep coming after her and who was going to pull her in and smother her with kisses...we have a God who feels the same way about us, who will chase us until we are ready to surrender it all to Him. It was a beautiful picture of His love for us.

Hope everyone has an amazing 4th of July weekend!! Glad we can be in America to celebrate!

just couldn't stop snapping...

2010-06-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

So today i went to church in Charleston. It was the 9am service and even though 1.5 cups of coffee had been consumed I was still dragging. After getting Neema all checked in at children's church I arrived into the service and the worship had already begun. There was a miniature band on stage, think Buckhead Church but a lot smaller, and a good crowd of people. As the words came up on the screen and the band rocked on, in my own lack of passion I simply looked at this room full of people singing about a God of infinite strength and mercy yet it just didn't seem all that moving. When we are singing about the Everlasting God how he will reign forever and He is our strong deliverer....it felt like just words. Then I started thinking about my life and how I want my life to be about Jesus and how He be who people think of when they hear my name. I want to sing those lyrics and mean them from the bottom of my soul! I want those words in these songs and the words in scripture to resonate in all of my being. All of these are true...too good to be true and not to be taken for granted! As I stood there all of these thoughts swirling in my head I just couldn't help but wonder what does God see when he looks at my heart....so complacent and lukewarm. But he's so patient and so loving and after this reminder and refresher I was able to look into who He really is today. The closing song was Mighty To Save:

Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

I could not help but think of Neema. And how He has saved her. Both of her parents, and her two sisters have all passed away from HIV but Neema was miraculously spared of this same condition. I can tangibly look at my child on a daily basis and say that my Jesus is Mighty to Save! And that is something worth shouting about! We have a risen King and he is saving us daily. I am thankful because He is Mighty to Save us no matter what is going on in our lives.

Charleston

2010-06-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

This Spring my dad took a job in Charleston, SC so he has been coming home to be with us around every other weekend. However, last week we went to visit him for a few days! I'll write about it more later but for now enjoy some pics!

ps- DRINKS IN THE DRIVEWAY is being postponed. I'm so sorry if this messes anyone up. Look for an updated post about the NEXT DITW!! We are definitely doing it again, because it was SO FUN!! Sorry my people.

Drinks in the Driveway

2010-05-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

In an effort to see people more often while still being able to get the girl in bed at a decent hour, I decided to have a few friends over for some pizza and a nice cool beverage as the sun fell another jam packed weekend. As I looked around at the people, I had to marvel for a second at the different stages of life everyone was in and it got me thinking. This time last year I and most of my friends were single and obviously my activities reflected that. (Could go wherever I wanted at whatever time I wanted, no planning necessary.) Things are a little different now, and I love it! But I find myself now trying to blend this new way of life (toys, sidewalk chalk, skinned knees) with my old self and my old relationships. Can my single friends still have fun at a driveway gathering dodging tricycles and screaming toddlers? Do I have to have two separate lives? One with the "mom's group" and one with the "girl's night out crew"? I am trying to nurture my old friendships and still make time for uninterrupted girl talk, but also foster new friendships with people who are going through all the the things that are now my daily existence. It's hard, but hopefully "Drinks in the Driveway" can be one night where we can all come together and just enjoy whatever path God has us on in this moment.

The next "Drinks in the Driveway" will be on June 6th. Things to look forward to on that night: Cornhole, rubberband Can game, pizza, more sidewalk chalk body art, margaritas, and more! Hope you all will come!

Susu and Lee

New best friends, and my favorite picture of the night

watch out!

The driveway looked like the site of a crime scene. Whooops!

Yes, blenditure

One Year Anniversary

2010-05-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

On May 17th , 2009 my dad and I flew into Kilimanjaro, Tanzania. My dad had never been to Africa and I was so excited for him to meet this place that i loved so very much. I couldn't wait for him to see the stars in the sky when we landed around 9pm. I couldn't wait to smell the scents of that place again. To step out into the African air that wraps itself around me like my favorite blanket. I just couldn't wait for him to see everything...mostly to see Neema! That night we checked in to our hotel and I called her uncle to tell him we had arrived. We planned to meet the next day at noon. In all of my exhaustion of the 20 hour plane ride, I couldn't sleep, I was restless I just could not wait to see her tiny little face again. I wondered would she remember me? It had been about 4 months since I had last held her, snuggled her, breathed her. I remember waking up that morning and not even being able to have my quiet time. I just could not focus on anything. The clock was dragging.....finally around 11 my dad and I started the journey to be reunited with Neema. A year later, here we are in America and a dream has come true. A promise fulfilled. A blessing given.

May 18, 2009

I decided that every year on our anniversary we would go and do something fun just the two of us! We started the day at J. Christophers for a big breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes, coffee, and juice. I told Neema about all of my favorite memories over the past year. Then we went to the Atlanta Zoo. It was really fun for us, because despite the fact that we are totally spoiled and have been on several REAL African safaris, we got to see the animals really close and Neema was like a little safari guide telling me all about each animal.

Swahili!!! :)

We finished off the night with some home made stir-fry a popular dinner choice of ours in Arusha. I had so much fun today celebrating the heck out of this girl!
I pray for many more special May 18ths.

New Meaning to Bad Hair Day

2010-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

So the subject of Neema's hair has been a big issue at my house recently. The braids she had in for Grace's wedding were on their last leg so I decided to take them out. She now has the fro but her hair is getting so long that it looks kind of funny. At a retreat this weekend I spoke with one of our black leaders and he told me that to get Neema's hair done here in America it could cost me anywhere from $50-$150 dollars!!!!! I'm not kidding I had a small panic attack. She has to have her hair redone every couple of weeks. What am I going to do?! Then I came across this video...

I guess I will just have to learn..... Maybe?

Mother's Day

2010-05-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

First Mother's Day!! It was awesome. We went to Buckhead Church and Neema just thinks Waumba Land is the best! When I picked her up I asked her what she learned in children's church and she said, "God made me wonderfully." I'm guessing they discussed verse psalm 139:14 (I praise you because im fearfully and wonderfully made...) To hear those little words come out of her mouth were enough to make my Mother's Day. I just love being her mama! She amazes me everyday with the things she says and does, but it's her heart that I love so much! Her sweet thoughts and kind spirit.
After church we went to my favorite restaurant HOUSTONS! We rarely go anymore because its so expensive so its probably been close to 2 years since I last ate there. We had the whole family including my grandmother so we splurged big time and got spinach dip and fries for the whole table! :) Then I got my favorite salad on the planet and usually salad is not my favorite but the grilled chicken salad can't be beat. You Atlantans know what I mean. :)
I'm obsessed with this little skirt I found for Neema at Old Navy. Don't mind that its a 2T and it still absolutely swallows her. I got some really cute things on the sale rack! My baby love looks cute!! :)

Thanks Will for being my Mother's Day photographer.

The Mamas. It was so fun to share in this day with the best mama (and now Bibi) in the world!! Later that evening my brother and his sweet girlfriend made a yummy picnic dinner for all the mamas and my family and hers all went to Stone Mountain and with pocahontas table clothes to boot, we had homemade mac and cheese, chicken, green beans, and salad. Despite the weird Atlanta in May chill factor it was a perfect end to Mother's Day 2010.

Will, me, Sims and Becca, Neema, and Ryan.

Thank you to Will and Bec for cooking such a yummy dinner. Thank you to all the Mamas all over the world who I have a new appreciation for. And thank you to Neema for without you I would not have gotten to celebrate such an AMAZING day!! You make everything in life worth it.

Princess Neema

2010-05-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

These pictures are not the best but she was moving around so much with excitement I just snapped what I could. She has never even seen these Disney movies (Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, etc.) but she was just enthralled with these gowns and she kept twirling, we were all oooing and ahhhing and I know she felt magical. It's just in our souls this desire to feel beautiful, lovely, and adored. I love watching it in her little three year old personality. She just lets it shine. She doesn't feel the need to live behind this self sufficient front that she has it all under control and doesn't need any applause. Do I want her to grow into an independent woman, absolutely! But I never want her to lose that piece of her heart where she longs for the affirmation and romance of the ONLY one who can truly fill her. I pray she never becomes so self-reliant that she forgets her need for Jesus. Sometimes she asks me if she is a princess and I tell her she is a princess of the Kingdom but not of this world. "i want to be princess of the world." she says. Don't we all? Being home I have really been faced with this struggle...entering back into the world of fashion, fancy phones, and fast cars. I want these things just until i have them. I don't want to want them. I reminded of Paul in Romans 7:15 when he says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." I am trying so hard to find a balance in between these two worlds. How can I represent Christ in both places? How can I truly serve in Africa in a place where I have such priviledge.....and how can I serve in America without self-righteousness judging all that is opposite of the world I know in Tanzania. When everything in the world tells me to need this, buy that, wear this, love that, etc. I will strive to keep my eyes on the eternal crown.

2010-05-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

I am having some technical problems with my computer. :( I will remain posting about Neema's arrival as soon as I get the macbook back in action. Stay tuned for: first trip to Target, Neema meets Dunkin Donuts, and pretty pretty princess!

THE wedding

2010-04-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

I am so mad at myself because i only took like 4 pictures during this wedding that I was so excited about! But there were other photographers and i just wanted to enjoy every second not behind a camera. But for your viewing enjoyment, here are the few I did manage to take. At least you get to see Neema in her precious flower girl dress and there is one shot of the BEAUTIFUL Grace.....

Sweet Elizabeth is getting married next month!

Booty Bride!!

WE ARE HOME

2010-04-24T06:14:00.001-07:00

Just letting everyone know we made it back safely! It was an awesome journey. Long but good. Neema did great. We both got about 7 hours of sleep on our 13 hour flight. She had a great time sitting on top of all the luggage and having me push her around the airport. She played with her computer during the layovers and charmed all airport employees. :)

My dad met us at the gate as he flew in from Charleston on the same day. Then we were greeted by my mama, sister, and three cutest Auburn girls ever! We went straight to Chick fil a for a lemonade in a styrofoam cup with ICE and a straw!

We arrived home to balloons all over the yard and a big banner! And lots and lots of goodies all over the house from great friends. In preperation of her arrival, my mama has set up an old playroom into Neema's room with her very own miniature bed, a pink chair with her name, a wall hanging, and some other odds and ends furniture. SO CUTE!! I cant get over it.

Tonight is Grace's wedding and we are so incredibly grateful that we are here to witness our precious friend say forever to her foxy fiance. :) This is a gift that we will forever be thanking God for letting us be a part of!

And while these things definitely do not define my happiness, i have to say things like instant hot water, fast internet, washing machine, ice, paper towels in bathrooms, etc. are very nice to have for a change. I just really really appreciate these things now. :)

Ok off to get ready for the Big Event!

update

2010-04-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

So....believe it or not our flight has been canceled. There is talk that there is a plane that is leaving here on Wednesday but I don't know if we will be able to get on it. And I'm not even sure if it will actually come as there are still no flights arriving or departing Amsterdam today (Sunday). The website is giving as little information as possible and KLM here in Tanzania have just turned their phones OFF. No one is answering any of the numbers. So that's fun. We are looking at a few more options but at this point I really have no idea when we will be rescheduled. I have to admit my heart is breaking a little because one of my best friends in the whole world is getting married on Saturday and we have been fighting to get home for this pretty much since she got engaged in September. And everyday that we sit here this little dream seems to be slipping away....but we will hold on to hope because God has brought this far....

While this is a slight setback, I still have much to be thankful for this week! We rented this house!!!! Hallelujah. Just in time. God is good. He is able. We have had so much fun with our loved ones this week. Great couple of nights with the TAWV kids having farewell party and celebrating their Easter break from school. Dinner with Neema's uncle Calvin. Girls night out with my sisters here in Arusha. Someone is hiring my house girl which is such a praise because I didn't want to leave her jobless (she has 3 children of her own). I found my car title which I have been looking for for months and was going to be really expensive and time consuming to replace. And mostly just having a blast with Neema. Watching her mimick things I do... "mama im packing, cooking, checking my facebook." Wanting to brush her hair like me, etc. She is just so fun to be around and every morning I can't wait for her to wake up and come curl in bed with me. Yes I have a lot to be thankful for.

I'll let you know as soon as I know anything. Stay tuned.....I should really write a book about this last year...but im afraid I might deter people from adoption or international travel! Ha! What a crazy ride. But ill take crazy ride over tip-toeing through life anyday!

God Bless all of you today.

Neema takes on America!

2010-04-12T01:14:00.000-07:00

PRAISE GOD!!! PRAISE GOD!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!

"I know that the Lord is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods." Psalm 135:5

Neema and I will be boarding a plane headed to America next Sunday. I can't believe it! I will write later about our fabulous trip to Dar Es Salaam and add some pictures but for now I just wanted everyone to know that there is NO greater King! I just give every oz. of GLORY to God because He opened the door for Neema to be approved to travel on visitor visa. This is very rare for adopted children out of Tanzania and I just feel so blessed.

We arrive to Atlanta on KLM flight at 2:20pm Monday, April 19th. I think there are a few people gathering to greet us at the airport and I just wanted to welcome all of you blog readers to come out if you can. You have been such a part of this journey with us and it would bless my heart to see your faces when we walk through the gate. Some of you I have never even met, but I feel so connected to you through your emails and comments.

Neema absolutely can't wait. I'm not even sure she understands what America is except she knows she gets to fly on a plane and see her Bibi and Babu. I guess that is excitement enough!!

More to come soon. This week is going to be CRAZY trying to get everything accomplished and squared away with TAWV stuff, renting this house, finding home for a dog, saying goodbyes, etc. But looking forward to some American internet when I get home and then ill be able to post so much more with pictures and maybe some videos. Happy Days to come....

Thank you all SO MUCH for just being with us. I can't even believe it. We will see you so very soon! We love you!

Easter!!

2010-04-05T01:58:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Neema and I went over to our good friends, Hannah and Zac's house where we iced Easter cookies, dyed Easter eggs, and had an Easter egg hunt! All new to Neema she was in Heaven with all these exciting activities. It is so fun to introduce Neema to these traditions and hope she will have sweet memories of our first Easter together!

After cookie eating and egg dying, I put Neema down for a nap and then we all went out and hid Easter eggs! Fortunately, mama thought ahead while she was here and stocked us up on Easter goodies like plastic eggs and pink grass that you could never find here. While she napped we watched the movie Blindside. (if you have not seen it, you MUST...it was so good!) When she woke up she had a blast looking for all the little plastic eggs.

I love Easter. I love all the colors and the spirit of spring and renewal. I love that we have something so much bigger to celebrate. The death and resurrection of our glorious King! I went to get Neema's hair did for Easter and they had the crucifixion story on swahili at the salon. At first I wondered if I should let Neema watch it, but in the end I thought well this is what happened and the earlier she can understand it than why not? In the car on the way home she kept talking about how the people were hitting Jesus and taking his clothes...I often tell her things that are way over her head but I think she also can comprehend more than we think kids can. She has heard so many times that Jesus died on the cross for her, but after Easter I think she is able to put a few more of the pieces together.

Neema in her little Easter dress brought from Aunt Kiki (Kathryn) and her Easter basket! We woke up at 5am and went to a sunrise service at the home of some Missionaries who have been living here for 50 years!!!! It was a special morning as many fellow long term Arushans were there. It was a beautiful service and everyone brought a breakfast food. Afterward we went to our home church for praise and worship followed by a lovely brunch at one of the Lodges here in Arusha with some other adoptive mamas and friends. The kids ran around tons of green grass and looked for candy hidden in bushes while we relaxed on big comfy couches and soaked in the wonderful day of our Lord's Resurrection! He is ALIVE!

Hope you all had a beautiful Easter Weekend!

Jemima visits!

2010-03-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

Lately I have just been taking pictures of Neema being Neema and it is so fun!! I have found that my internet connection cannot keep up with my picture taking so only a few of these are making the blog. But I will try to plug on. Our old house girl/nanny who we had from July to January and who WE LOVE came by to visit us the other day. We sat and had coffee and colored and played. We love you and miss you Jemima!

Ordinary-not so ordinary things

2010-03-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

I absolutely LOVED having my family here. Seeing my mama, sister, brother and aunts with Neema was an indescribable feeling. I think it can be easy to take family for granted when you see them everyday or they are just 10 minutes down the road. Now that I have this baby, sometimes I tear up just thinking how hard it is that they are missing so much of her preciousness! The little things she says or does. The way she calls me baby and sweetie. The way after every meal even if we are in a restaurant she tilts her little head and says "Thank you for cooking." And her little dance moves which were a big hit. She jumps and then shakes her booty. She is actually really good at it. She had all of us down in the den one night jumping up and down and singing "shake shake shake.....shake your booty!!" As we said goodbye, there were some tears..we were so sad to see everyone leave. Neema held me tight and said, "im here. i wont leave you. Dont worry mama, I won't break your heart." Ahhh she kills me!

Still with no return date in sight, I have committed to myself, I must take more pictures. Pictures of her life that is just passing me by. Everyday she says and does something new. I don't want to forget these moments that touch me through out the day. I can't forget. So here are a few photos of us just living life. Everyday mundane things but are anything but ordinary to me. This is Neema. This is my world. How sweet it is.......

Love when she sleeps. She is just so delicious all sprawled all over the place! I have to surround her with pillows so she doesn't fall out of the bed.

Love how nuggly she is when she wakes up. She will curl into a little ball and sometimes even fall back asleep. She is the sweetest during that time. Never one who is fond of being still, the mornings and after nap are my favorite because she is just loving.

slowly waking up...

And she is back. "no pictures mama!" time to play.....

Yes you are my sweet angel, yes you are!!!!

Uncle Will!

2010-03-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

Neema Shop

2010-03-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

The Neema shop (see button of the right) is now OPEN!!!

Currently, Davis Mitchell is selling T-shirts for Takes A Whole Village. They are only available until March 12th! See blog below for more info!!

http://www.theneemashopevents.blogspot.com/

What a fun way to spread the word about my other babies!!! :)

Early morning plaguing

2010-02-26T20:28:00.000-08:00

I have been up since 4am this morning with this burning on my heart. When we get to Heaven, we need to remember that everyone is not going to look just like us. There will be people from every tribe, every tongue, and every nation. And it is my strong belief that our lives on Earth should look like that too.

When I think about my life in Atlanta and I think about where I go, where I eat, where I work out, wear I spend my weekends, who I hang out with, even my church! I think I’m pretty much surrounded by people quite similar to me. (They most likely went to a private school, went on to college, got a well paying job, and now live comfortably just like they grew up.) And many ex-pats here live the same way. You can easily live in Arusha and rarely come in contact with any of the local people. Sad if you ask me, but many do it.

But now that I have an African child, I am beginning to realize the importance of broadening that circle to include people of all shades of skin tones and backgrounds. I do not want Neema thinking of the entire world through one set of lenses. She does not need to think of everyone living with dirt floors anymore than she needs to think everyone having multiple story houses. I want her to know both and everything in between.

And you know what, I want this for myself too. In 2010 racism is still very much alive and well. And living in Africa, sometimes I still feel like there is colonization. I think most of us want to raise our children to be inclusive of everyone whether they are a different color, disabled, or any other attribute that might set them apart. But are we living our own lives as an example of how to love those who are different than we are?

Its not good enough to simply ignore the differences of others. And think you are doing the right thing by not acknowledging it. Seeing “no color”, for example, is a good idea in theory but at the end of the day it’s harmful because if no one talks about it, it becomes taboo.

There is a new book called NurtureShock that puts this well:

How to Raise a Racist

Step One: Don’t talk about race. Don’t point out skin color. Be “color blind.”

Step Two: Actually, that’s it. There is no Step Two.

Congratulations! Your children are well on their way to believing they are better than everybody else.

What NurtureShock discovered, through various studies, was that most white parents don’t ever talk to their kids about race. The rule is that because we want our kids to be color-blind, we don’t point out skin color. We’ll say things like “everybody’s equal” but find it hard to be more specific than that. If our kids point out somebody who looks different, we shush them and tell them it’s rude to talk about it.

My challenge this morning to everyone is expose yourselves and your children to a diverse group of people. Talk about the differences and how it’s ok to love someone who is not just like you! Examine your life, your faith, your friends and remember we are called TO LOVE. There is no dot dot dot.

Graduation Party

2010-02-21T01:33:00.000-08:00

We have a friend who graduated high school and he invited us to his celebration! "Lucky" for us we were able to witness the slaughtering of a goat to commemorate the occasion. Oh my goodness...it was not very humane. But it is food. I think I traumatized my baby girl. But it was such a fun night!

Poor little guy...

I was feeling bad at this point for letting her witness this.

Please look at her face....

ok good not permanently damaged...

He was kind of stingy with his cake. Each person only got one bite. Psssh!

My new friends...

Dance Dance Dance!

2010-02-20T08:46:00.000-08:00

Play dates

2010-02-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday we went to the home of a little girl in Neema's class. She lives at the top of one of Arusha's mountains that overlooks the whole city! She has cows, bunnies, chickens, and lots of dogs. Neema was not too sure about all the big dogs running around, but lets face it she is just going to have to get over it, because hate to tell you girl but Bella is not going anywhere! :) We stayed all afternoon made cookies, colored and Neema has so much fun in their huge yard with a legit swing set, a trampoline, and all kinds of bikes and trykes. But her favorite activity was when she and Nailah played beauty parlor. After a good washing up, they even fed us spaghetti before we headed home. Wow! Thanks to the entire Nyiti family!

little sidewalk chalk in the hair.....sooo pretty! :)

Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!!

2010-02-11T04:11:00.000-08:00

To commemorate the sweet day that marked the OFFICIAL day of our family blending, I decided to have Neema's biological uncle and two other honorary uncles who I have become so close to over for dinner! I made a cheesy rice and veggie dinner with chapati, avocado, mango, and bananas. It was an African dinner with the good ole American twist: CHEESE!! :) After dinner we had FUN-FETTI cake which Neema had helped me prepare earlier. She got a little confused and started singing happy birthday to herself when I lit a candle, but I just wanted the cake to be special because of such an occasion!! Unfortunately, I did forget to take a picture. :( (so mad at myself for that!!)

BUT, another precious friend Hannah made us some "congratulations cookies!" So see below and they were soo yummy. Thanks Hannah Joy!! :) We love you!

In Tanzania, there is a tradition that once a woman has a baby her new name becomes "Mama name of the child" So even if you have 7 children you will always be referred to as Mama "name of first born." So the cookies say Mama Neema, Congrats, and Neema - so cute!

She could NOT wait to eat these cookies!

FINALIZED!!!

2010-02-09T03:08:00.000-08:00

In December when I discovered I was getting rescheduled AGAIN, I was told that my new date would probably not be until sometime in March. WHAT?! I knew the judges took off most of January…but I would not be seen again until March? Apparently the whole month of February is designated to criminal cases in which my judge was assigned to a murder case of a woman and her baby. (So sad!! – but another woman and her baby were not happy about waiting THREE more months!) Lucky for me, my lawyer is the best, and he went and spoke with the judge. He pleaded on my behalf and well since the judge had missed three of my appointments due to his father’s death, he had compassion on me and agreed to see my case in the middle of the criminal trial. Huge blessing.

When we got to court there was a big to-do. There were police everywhere and a big truck filled with prisoners piled in the back. All you could see were all their fingers grasping the bars of metal. Really kind of creepy. They would not let us park inside. There were lots of people watching as a group of about 30 military/police stood at attention and were taking orders from the head commander. We didn’t know where to go. I did not see my lawyer and with all my own nerves it was a little chaotic. Finally someone directed us where to wait. Next thing I know, they are rolling out this red carpet (not kidding) and music begins to play. What is going on…all the judges come out in big red robes and people are bowing to them. Very ceremonial. Thankfully it kept me entertained and distracted from my own nervousness.

I spot the social welfare officer and suddenly im feeling more relieved. I’m assuming it would have been highly looked down upon for him to miss this day, as our judge carved out a specific time during criminal cases to hear mine. It seemed as though we waited forever. Finally they called us. This part is boring so ill just skip to where it was stated that it would be in Neema’s best interest to be adopted. Yayyyyyy! Fireworks! Drums!! African tribal noises!! Happy Happy Day!!!!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you to all of you who followed the drama on the blog and in life and prayed for us and said kind and encouraging words and messages to me and my family. We are so proud to welcome little Miss NEEMA EVA DUPREE!!!!!

social welfare officer, My lawyer, and Neema's birthfather

2010-02-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

You Know You Are an Adoptive Parent If. . .

I just saw this on another blog and it rings so true for us.

You Know You're An Adoptive Parent IF...
1. The fact that there are 147 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love & family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without tears.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who've experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents.
7. You were "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth (2 years! - oh lets hope this isnt the case for us!!)
8. You'd no idea how you'd afford to adopt, but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing He'd provide (He has!)
9. You've taken an airplane half-way around the world to meet your child
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart & family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means & you can actually pronounce it correctly!
13. You've welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child's so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you're the blessed one to have him or her in your life.

*Borrowed from http://theboysadoption.blogspot.com/ (2/14/08)

They are coming!!!!

2010-01-28T04:03:00.000-08:00

I found out last week that my brother, sister, Mama, and 2 aunts are all coming to Arusha in March to meet Neema!! I am so excited!! Neema cannot wait to meet Ya Ya, Simsy, and Uncle Will! J We have been so blessed by the support of friends and the prayers of so many…THANK YOU ALL!!

Through this process there have been many tears, frustrations, questions, and days of waiting. Neema and I have been excited only to be let down AGAIN on numerous occasions while trying to finalize this adoption. There have been times where I just sat before the Lord and told him “I know you are Good, but I don’t understand…”

Sometimes we never know why “bad” things happen on this side of Heaven, however, sometimes God lets us in on his Perfect Plans…and I have to say that I am humbled to bits as I am realizing that now my whole family (my dad came last May) will see this place that I love so much!! If it weren’t for all of these reschedules I wouldn’t get to show off my beloved Africa. Not only will they get to come and meet Neema, but they will see where she is from. They will meet her biological family. They will see her interact in her homeland, speaking Swahili and entertaining “her people.” J They will see Cradle of Love, the amazing place that cared for her in infancy.

They will meet the children of Takes A Whole Village. And see why God has put this ministry on my heart! I can’t think of anything more wonderful than for them to see my life here and see how ALIVE Jesus is and experience Him outside of Western Christianity. I’m simply thrilled beyond words! Especially for my brother and sister who at 22 and 16 years old have their whole lives in front of them, God willing. I pray that this will be a life changing experience for them in the way it was for me 3 years ago. My prayer is that they would all go back CHANGED and with a new perspective on what is Real and True.

While I can say that the past few months of continuous visits to the High Court of Tanzania have brought real heartbreak…I am incredibly grateful that my family will see with their own eyes this other world of mine…God’s sweet sweet redemption.

BABY NEEMA

2010-01-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

A volunteer at Cradle of Love from 2006/2007 was sweet enough to contact me and offer me pictures she had of Neema as a wee little one. I did not have any pictures of her before she was about 18 months old so these really are extra special to me.

Then yesterday Neema and I took a visit to Cradle of Love to see the nannies and some of the new babies. They have an all time high of like 43 babies right now. I walked into one room with over 25 cribs and 50 big ole eyes staring back at me. My heart broke as I gazed around at each child either laying or standing gripping the sides of the bed with their tiny hands. Each of them so fearfully and wonderfully made. I tell you the truth, these children were not meant to live like this. Where 40+ babies are looked after by only 5 people at a time. And this is one of the BEST orphanages in Arusha. There are over 147 million orphans in this world. And now in light of the horrific effects of the earthquake in Haiti the number has probably grown even more. These are the "least of these" and God says whatever you do for them you are doing for HIM! Why do so many people profess their love for Jesus with their Lips but not their Life? The Bible says our time on Earth is like a blink of an eye! Let us take actions that will last for eternity. A lady in my church the other day had a different spin on treasures in Heaven. She said, "Children are the only things you can take with you." How beautiful. Please don't be fooled into thinking God only calls certain people to these children. It is a LIE. "Religion that God accepts as PURE and FAULTLESS is this: to look after orphans..." James 1:27

This is Cradle of Love today:

These babies are just like my sweet Neema. Except they are still waiting...

First Day of School

2010-01-15T00:40:00.000-08:00

January 13th, 2010 was a big day for Neema! Her first day ever to school! I am so excited about this little school I have found. It has children from all over the world! There are children from the UK, Australia, Guatemala, and obviously Tanzania. A British woman started this school when she was looking around for her 3 year old and did not find anything she loved. She turned her garage into a classroom and then eventually built another house in her yard for the nursery class. So there is now nursery and Early Years and the school is called "The Learning Space." I have heard such wonderful things about this little class and I was thrilled when I learned that despite there status as "full" they agreed to take Neema. :) Her teachers names are Kate and Nursera. Kate is from Australia and Nursera is Tanzanian so Neema can speak english or swahili and be understood. Being the not shy child that she is, she jumped right in and was not fazed at all when I told her I was leaving. I am thankful for that. I praise God for giving her such confidence although sometimes her fearlessness scares her mama. (stairs, pools, etc. ahhhh) Here are a couple of pictures from her first day. I wish I had taken more....First Day of school (3 years old)

Little House built for the Nursery. So cute, right?!

Jesus Loves Her

2010-01-12T03:15:00.000-08:00

excuse her little hiccups. :)

New Year...New Boots?

2010-01-05T06:10:00.001-08:00

Ok I broke down and bought Neema these boots...im sorry but I had to. They have princess crowns on them....how could I resist?! They just make me happy. :) She has wanted to wear them everyday. She is very in style here in Africa where the current look is dresses and boots. :) I'm so happy to have this little girl who i can dress up and be girly with. We love things like pink, chocolate, and princesses...she is like my bestie and baby doll all wrapped up into one! What did I do in life before her?! :)

Princess Crowns...not usually for rhinestones...but i mean cowgirl meets the city....perfect.

she was busy looking at the airplane!

Christmas in ZANZIBAR

2009-12-28T00:22:00.000-08:00

Neema has been looking forward to this trip for weeks now...she could not stop talking about the airplane!! I thought maybe she would be scared but she wasn't at all! I was impressed. She did very well she sat with me and looked out the window mesmerized....

When we got there she really like the 'cool' but was not so sure about the 'lotion'.....hahaha...She was afraid of this water that perpetually lapped up against the sand. When we walked along the shore she would flap her little hands and shriek "i dont need water!!! i dont need water!!!" Ok we are going to have to work on this....loving the beach is a prerequisite!! :) But by the final day I could not drag her out of the water! (Ok good I can keep her...just kidding!!)

Christmas was really special this year. Obviously because it was our first one together but also because we kept it really simple. It was not about presents and Santa Claus, it was about being so incredibly blessed. We were together in a beautiful place celebrating the birth of our Savior. When I asked Neema "what is today?" she said "Jesus' birthday and Ill share his cake." hahaha i guess she knows when there is a birthday there is cake.....so we ordered a slice of chocolate cake that night at dinner and blew out a candle for 'Baby Jesus'. And for a country that is not known for her desserts, it was pretty good birthday cake!

Enjoy a few glimpses of our precious memories....

I have turned her into full on beach girl...mission accomplished.

Her PINK (duh) stocking until Bibi finishes her hand stitched one. :)

Christmas on the beach! Only would have been better if my family had been there.

Before Christmas dinner...

Neema keeping to her African culture...shake shake shake...

Last Day in Zanzibar...NOOOOO!

Goodbye Ocean....we will miss you.

I stand on Grace

2009-12-15T11:29:00.000-08:00

Ok today has been a doozie.....we have had no power for over 24 hours and when we dont have power for that long we also lose water because our pump is underground and the tank runs out. So i couldnt even take a shower this morning before court. On top of that and the judge still being away my puppy died this afternoon. He had been really sick but I just thought he needed some anti-biotics. Not the best of days...

Ok so this is where my heart is...i am discovering somethings about myself that are pretty unsettling. And I'm just going to put myself out there and be honest...but the truth is im not sure how much I really trust God. Throughout this process I have seen how quickly I lose hope. Do I really believe in God's goodness? Today before court as I sat in my car hoping and praying by some slice of a chance the judge might actually be there, I started to think about Jesus. And all the things he has done before. Amazing things! Calming the wind, feeding the thousands, giving sight to the blind! In Matthew 17 the disciples want to know why they couldn't drive out the demon from the boy. Jesus says "Because you have so little faith." That was me this morning. I sat there thinking to myself I bet if I TRULY believed that God was capable of bringing this man back for court, he would be there. I wanted with all my heart to just BELIEVE he was there. I wanted to have this incredible faith that my God moves mountains and raises people from dead and that bringing this judge to court when no one said he was going to come was cake for Him. But God knows my heart. God sees my doubt. And I think it hurts his feelings. He has been so faithful to me in all my years and I look back at how he has perfectly weaved Neema and my story together in so many ways that can only be of Him, yet the second I can't see my way I realize how quick I am to step in and try to take things into my own hands. This is ugly and I want to hide this about myself but it's true.

What does having faith really mean? Right now I am learning the TRUE meaning of walking by faith and not by sight. This is a song by Ginny Owens that I think says so much about where I am now.

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

I know my God has a wonderful plan for me and maybe He just needs to 'wear me down' so He can build me back up. My faith may be weak but He is strong and thanks to my Jesus Christ, I can stand on grace.

2009-12-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

I'm sure if you are following along with us you will think this is a joke but the judge was not back today. A new date has yet to be set. Will blog about it more later. Thanks for hanging in there with us.

2009-12-14T04:12:00.000-08:00

Court #5

2009-12-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

Well, wish i had better news to report but when we got to court on Monday morning it turns out the judge was still not back from Mbeya. He wasnt there last time because he was traveling to see his sick father. Unfortunately, his father passed away. (which to be honest, i was afraid was going to happen) So we have been rescheduled AGAIN to December 15th. The courts shut down mid-december (i think the 15th is the last day before closing for TWO months for Holidays) so I am continuing to pray for God's intervention to finally FINALIZE next Tuesday. He hears our prayers...he is in the midst of all of this and I must trust His timing. It is difficult but i have become so tough during this process. Gone are the days of becoming annoyed and complaining. There is no point. This is Africa. This is Life. I have been made so aware of my absolute inability to change my circumstances and thus have learned an even greater lesson...to be content with where God has me in all of this and continue to point to Him even when I am not getting what I want. He is GOOD. He is ENOUGH. So we will continue to wait and we will keep smiling. We love you so much and thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. Hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season and maybe this year I will get the best gift ever....Neema Eva DuPree!! :)

Love,
Heath

2009-12-04T01:10:00.000-08:00

This has been probably the longest week of my life. I am anxiously awaiting the 4th postponement of Neema's finalizing court date. On the day of court, the birth father, lawyer, judge, and social welfare officer must all be present. So lets see so far the social welfare officer has been absent once and the judge has been absent once. Let's hope that this time everyone can manage to get there and we can finish this thing. Every single failed attempt has left me asking God, WHY? At every rescheduling I think to myself God was aware that on that date that was set, someone wouldnt be there. I kept thinking He could have assigned a date where He knew we would complete. I know He wants Neema to be with me, so why the delay? He is the only one who is really in control so why are we still waiting? But who am I to ask God why? Who am I to even say his name?! This is my God who sent HIS only child to die for me. And im asking him why I am having to wait for mine? At least He gave her to me. At least I dont have to sacrifice her. At least we are together now. At least she is healthy and thriving. It is so easy to focus on what I dont have instead of focusing on the rich blessings he is showering me with daily. The blessing of waking up to this little angel every morning. The blessing of hearing her sweet voice sing "you are my sunshine." I will wait for this child... FOREVER!

Sweet Jesus,

I pray that on Monday, December 7th you will declare that Neema and I will officially be forever family. I pray that everyone who needs to be there will be present and ready. That through your love and grace we can finalize this adoption and begin the process of returning home. Help me Jesus to remember that this is all in your hands and to not fear for you knew us both before we were even born. Thank you that you are sovereign Lord and thank you for disciplining me to be patience. Help me to not miss out on the little things for looking to much to the future. Guide me in focusing on each day as your precious gift. Thank you for Neema. Thank you that she is so young and does not understand all of this court stuff. Thank you that as I was sad on each day we didnt finalize that I could look into her smiling eyes without a hint of worry or stress because all she knows is that I love her so that it can remind me that I dont need to worry either because you love ME. Lord if you want us to wait 10 more years we will because you asked us to. You are my Father in Heaven, I am nothing apart from you. I long to be united with you in spirit. Come Jesus and fill me with all of who you are. We are looking to you...King of Kings...be glorified.......

Amen.

Todays High Court Events

2009-11-27T00:29:00.000-08:00

So for a week I have been stretched emotionally, spiritually, and physically really as I have been sleep deprived with stress. Tanzania just passed a new law that Single women cannot adopt and even married couples must live in Tanzania for 3 consecutive years before they are eligible. Basically this law will pretty much make adoption in this country extinct. It is a sad thing. I am not sure when exactly it will go into effect but you can see the added urgency for Neema and I to finalize! It seems that no matter what I provided for the social welfare officer (the one person that says yes or no...and the only and final sayer) he always needed "just one more thing" to complete our report. First, I heard that he was not going to be in Arusha this week because his father passed away, then i heard that Ed (Muslim holiday was going to fall on Friday - it is determined by the movement of the moon and there are two Eds a year - and they both happen to be right near two of my court dates - fortunately I was able to miss both of them by a day) Then just when I thought my report had been turned in, my lawyer calls me to tell me that the social welfare officer needed to see me again! AGAIN?!?! Why???? Court is tomorrow im telling myself. Ok stay calm just go see what he needs...So I go. And he says "just one small thing...." He wanted to go to the village where Neema is from and see where all her relatives are living. But he can't go until that night. (ok this is the night before court date) So we go. I take him to the tiny little hut where her 80 year old great grandfather lives. The hut that is made more poorly than the outhouse where my guards go to the bathroom! It ended up being good for him to see it. To see the water run off from the rain flowing into his home. To see the mosquito manifestation. To hear the neighbors complain about how the other relatives do nothing to help him. After that he said he didnt need to see anymore! Finally, I think he is satisfied that it is not in Neema's best interest to live in the village. However, he is concerned at how tiny Neema is. He says and her health card agrees that she is underweight. I try to explain to him that she just has a little frame and that children who have lived in orphanages are typically smaller than the average child but he insists that i dont feed her enough. He asks me if i want to keep her skinny like all of us American girls! I try to convince him that she eats a lot but that she is just naturally small. But he says I must bring her in to his office even after finalization to check on her and make sure she has gained 4 kilos. That is something like 8 pounds!!

So for Thanksgiving Neema and I went to Snow Crest Hotel and drank water out of wine glasses and ate up a big plate of vegetable spagetti. I gave Neema like 4 rolls. We had cake. Then when we got home at like 9pm I made her drink a whole mug full of uji (its like oatmeal but made with rice, sweet potatoes, vitamins, and minerals - what the box says) Eat and grow, baby!

7am rolls around we crawl out of bed and pray. We pray that the report will be complete, we pray everyone will show up. We thank Jesus that no matter what happens He still died for us and that we are still His. I drive to pick everyone up. The uncles...Calvin who is always late, is late. Her father who is always on time...is late. I'm still scared the moon says its Ed and we will pull up and the gates will be closed. Im trying to pray and im trying to believe and trust but im so anxious. Finally everyone arrives and we head to the court house. There we wait for the lawyer...he is late. I see the judge, im relieved he is atleast there. They are about to call us. Where is the social welfare officer my lawyer comes to ask me. Par for the course....then he comes, thank God.

They call us in and we are barely seated when the judge says that we are going to need to reschedule for December 7th because he is traveling. I hold it together knowing I cant ever cry in front of these men again. But then the judge says that he has the report and its been turned in and so now all we need is our verdict. I finally feel relieved. The report is done, that is the most important thing. No more "one more thing"s....so as I understand on Monday, Dec. 7 we will just go in and they will give the final say...which should be YES since the report is complete.

Thank you all so much for the messages, emails, and texts! And don't become tired of praying for us. :) We love you.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

Neema LIVE

2009-11-24T00:04:00.000-08:00

This video is old but I am finally somewhere with strong enough internet to post it. Now that it downloaded we will try to post videos more frequently. Please forgive us that we are in pajamas and its a little rough. It was Saturday MORNING. kisses from Africa. :)

Best Friends

2009-11-20T01:03:00.000-08:00

The other night Neema and I were reading from her Children's Bible. We got to the chapter about Jonathan and David and it was titled Best Friends. I was trying to explain to Neema the meaning of best friends. I told her a best friend is someone you tell all your secrets. You know they will always be there for you. You want to spend all your time with them, etc. Then I asked her who was her best friend? And she said "God."

What an amazing answer. I love how children have such pure hearts. It seems they get things that I often miss. I don't know why I make things so complicated. Thanks Neema for shedding light on such a simple truth!

Neema's first SAFARI!

2009-11-12T04:26:00.000-08:00

We have a friend in town and she has never been to Africa so she selflessly agreed to pay for us if we could take my car. So on Wednesday morning we got up early and piled in for a day trip to Tarangire National Park! It was the first time Neema has seen wild animals and it was such a great day!! We had to battle through a little bout with tetsi flies who wouldnt stop biting us but other than that we saw many beautiful animals and got to relect on God's amazing creation. Driving through the bush with mountains on one side of you and impalas prancing about on the other side and just listening to worship songs it just takes me to another place. A place of complete joy. To a place only Jesus can promise us. He says he has come to give us life to the full. I get so down about my house not being completely finished, or the fact that restaurants here stop serving food at 4pm, or the endless frustrations of this adoption process. But then I see the bright blue birds soaring above my head or the giraffes lazily munching on some tree limbs and I think they don't worry if God will provide. They eat like I do, sleep like I do, breathe like I do...they are His and He takes care of them. And he says How much more does he care for us? Lord I pray that I can remember that feeling. That feeling of completeness even when im sad or lonely, hurting or frustrated. Help me to remember that I am Yours. That while you made the hills and rivers that inhabit this game park that you also made the cities, the buildings, the homes the places I spend my days. Everything is Yours. I thank you.

7am - Neema is so excited!!!

Little Monkey Family

4pm...still smiling...i love her!

Living the Life

2009-11-09T00:59:00.000-08:00

Life has been busy lately. Lots to update you on. First, we went to court on the 5^th and I must give a huge praise because our (3^rd) finalizing court date got rescheduled for November 27^th! Still three weeks away but at least we are getting it in before December when everything here in Tanzania shuts down for like two months for the Holidays. So please continue to pray mightily for NOVEMBER 27^th. If we pass court on that day, Neema will be officially my daughter in this country. At that point, we will no longer be confined to these borders and we can then proceed to making her a United States citizen. Oh how I look forward

to the day……We will all jump for joy together!

Also, we have moved into a new house! There were some bumps along the way (TIA) but we are in and beginning to feel more settled. The house is beautiful and it sits on a hill that overlooks Mt. Meru and when she is not feeling shy I can see Kilimanjaro from my balcony. The Lord has blessed us abundantly. For months I have been praying for the perfect house. A couple that I have loved fell through so I began praying not for certain houses but for the place God would have us be. And not surprisingly he came through for us. It’s a big house but for an unbelievable price! We have a yard for Neema to play, lots of space (plenty of room for visitors!), walking distance to street shops and public transportation, and most importantly we feel safe. We

brought in two gaurds from the bush who have never even seen gates, locks, etc. So they are learning but they have bows and arrows so don’t mess with them! Penda is still a puppy and not so scary yet but in the next few months we will have the toughest looking dog to go with our superb security. J

The Bushmen

The House

Neema just celebrated her 3^rd birthday and it was such a fun day!! We ate lunch at this great restaurant here in Arusha that is like a giant backyard. Many friends came to celebrate over pizza and cake and Neema loved being the center of attention all day! I just couldn’t stop staring at her. I can’t believe she is already three. I am so thankful to God that he has brought us to this place. I am thankful that he has protected Neema all the days of her life and he has faithfully brought us together. I look forward to so many more days of just being in awe of her and in awe of the One who created her.

Looking at the Cake!

COURT

2009-10-31T03:06:00.000-07:00

Ok I just wanted to give everyone a little update. I shudder to even write this...we will not be meeting in court on November 5th. The social welfare officer has been called to Headquarters in Dar Es Salaam and therefore will not be present at my court date. All of this to say, we are once again waiting for another finalizing court date. Please pray that it will be scheduled within the next few weeks. All courts close down from mid-December to mid-January for Holidays so it is very important that Neema and I finalize before this happens. This has been such a roller coaster, I had no idea....but I continue to seek God's face in all of this and pray with expectation that He will deliver us from this season.

Through an adoption lawyer in GA I am now applying for a form called the i600 which will allow Neema to become an American citizen. This is also a lengthy process. My hopes are once I finalize here I will then be able to acquire a visitor's visa for Neema to come home while we wait out the i600 paperwork. This has proven not to be an easy feat as a friend of mine who just adopted 2 children legally here in Tanzania is struggling to get them back to USA on visitors visa and she works for the UN!!! So what we need is PRAYER. I just want my little girl home to meet her family and introduce her to that world.

I will continue to keep you updated as I learn more. Thanks so much for all of your love and support. In the meantime, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

My Angel

Penda!!!

2009-10-23T03:00:00.002-07:00

So I was driving down the street the other day when I see this man outside my window holding two puppies....i dont know what happened but my rational side just shut off. I immediately find myself pulling over and asking "how much?!" When he told me 20,000 Tsh (less than 20 dollars) my roommates and I looked at each other and just did it. We bought a random dog off the street! Two babies and now a puppy? Are we CRAZY? Yes...the answer is undoubtedly yes. But his name is Penda which means Love in kiswahili and well he is cute...but somehow i forgot how puppies cry all night...tee tee everywhere...nip at your heels...and chew on everything!

I am hoping to move soon into a house where Penda can live outside!! I keep rationalizing this decision with it will be an investment and great security. Tanzanians are terrified of

dogs. So thats good if they are robbers but bad if they are our friends. Here

are some pictures...

Neema is not too sure about this...

But after a couple of pep talks she warmed up to the little guy.

Jumanne's Reality

2009-10-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

Jumanne and all the girls. Umi (3), Hadija (11), and Aziza (5)

Post-bath Kiss

Where they live now.

Entrance to their village..

He is 8.

2009-10-18T04:38:00.001-07:00

This is Jumanne. I met him a couple of weeks ago around 8pm outside the grocery store. It was dark and he was all alone. I was getting out of the car when this sweet face looked at me and in swahili he asked me for bread. Unfortunately I see street kids a lot and i never give to them because all it does is perpetuate the problem of begging. But for some reason God granted me His compassion for this boy. I bought him some bread, milk, and water and then insisted we take him back to his village. The next day I went to his home. If you have seen Slumdog Millionaire, that is what you can picture as his house. Complete slums. He is 8 years old and has not seen his father in three years! He lives with his mother who is a street sweeper and his three sisters. Being the only boy he is now the 'man' of the house. He is 8. It is now his responsibility to provide when his mother's $1 a day salary runs out. He is 8. He is in 4th grade but its nearly impossible for him to do any homework in this tiny shack with no electricity, no quiet, no supplies. He would rather be out playing soccer with his friends. He is 8. But his little sisters need baths, they need water to be fetched, their needs to be food. He is 8.

I could not get Jumanne off of my mind and my heart. The situation while there are so many like his was just weighing on me so heavily. There is an African circus in town this month so i decided to take him. We got there had sodas and popcorn and i watched Jumanne more than the show. He was mesmerized by the lights, the sounds, the entertainers. He was clapping and cheering! It was pure delight! After the circus we ran into his two younger sisters at the same grocery store where I met Jumanne. They were filthy dirty as usual and in the same musky

brown clothes I had met them in. We decided to pile them all in my car and take them home for dinner. (we told another kid from the village to tell their mother)

We got home and I couldnt wait to give them all baths! Afterward the water was a murky

brown color. But now they were clean! I smothered them in lotion and pulled out some of Neema's clothes and dressed them in freshness. We then fed them some rice, beans, and veggies and they ate and ate. Jumanne said they had eaten nothing but chai all day. I sting just thinking about it.

On Sunday they showed up at my gate at 7:45am. All four of them. I quickly threw on a pot of coffee (for myself) and started making some oatmeal (for them.) I took them to church and it was a sight. Neema in one arm and Umi in the other (good thing they are little.) Jumanne can read english so he really enjoyed singing the worship songs and Hadija the oldest was good at keeping eye on everyone. They went to sunday school and colored pictures of Jesus and

children. Jumanne wrote on his "Jumanne sitting with Jesus." The morning had been nothing short of complete chaos! Oatmeal everywhere.spilled juice.fighting over toys.getting everyone in the car in time. Getting to church. Getting everyone quiet for prayer. But my heart was overflowing with love.

After we dropped them off at the village and I walked in my door I took in a deep breath. But then I missed the crazy.

Jumanne, Aziza, and Umi where we found them on the street.

At my house...after baths!

Our Family

2009-10-09T00:31:00.000-07:00

I cant believe its October. I have been here since May. I don't know when we are coming home. Sometimes that can be a terrifying and suffocating feeling. Not only can we not leave until the Tanzanian process is over but then we have to go up against the laws and regulations of my own country! I recently learned visitor visas are not often granted to adopted children, which means that either I go through a lengthy process of applications, interviews, fingerprints, and lots and lots of $$$ or stay here for 2 years until at which point I guess I will be seen as a fit parent and can then return to the United States with my baby. This may help explain why there are 147 MILLION orphans around the world because its like everyone wants to make it as difficult as possible!

I miss my family and friends so much and its so incredibly hard to not have people know Neema. She is so much a part of me and has helped change me so much and I want people to know us...the people we are and the people God is molding us to be. I was recently reading about Naomi and Ruth and how they were not biologically mother and daughter but about how they loved each other. How when Naomi told Ruth and Orpah to turn around, Ruth would not leave her. Neema and I have this ongoing dialogue with each other where one of us says to the other "Don't leave me...." and the other says "EVER!" Its so precious. But ever since falling in love with someone so much I have started relating my every feeling for her to how Jesus loves me. And how he won't leave me....EVER! (Reference from Ruth 1:16-18)

So when I get sad and lonely for my parents, and my Will and Sims, and my wonderful

friends....I cling to this amazing life God has provided for me here. We are incredibly blessed. Just last Sunday I was overtaken by the love and community of our church. Such diversity....different nationalities, different languages, different skin colors but all loving Jesus and all loving Neema and me. It is truly the body. We have people checking in on us, asking about the court process, feeding my soul when im tired or need prayer, holding Neema, people speaking to her in english and swahili! It is so amazing to be able to walk alongside others who are in their own valleys and peaks! There is such a spirit of humility and vulnerability among the members of our church and it encourages and gives me hope and strength. When God created families, he had a much bigger vision than just our own mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. Of course he did, his thoughts are always bigger than our thoughts. He has designed it that we would have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters all over the world. And I am t

ruly thankful for that.

Neema just being cute! :)

Some of my favorite things.....

2009-10-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

Just thought today I would talk about some things my sweet Neema does that make me giggle and want to burst with love....

When I hurt myself or look sad she says "What happened my sweetie?"

How she runs around the house singing "Baby Love...My baby love I need you oh how i need you!"

When Liza was tickling her the other day she said "stop stop you are killing me..."

When she tells me she loves me 'to the moon and back.'

This morning she picked up one of my shirts and held it up and said "Cute, right?"

She was walking out of my room and i said 'are you leaving?'.' and she says 'Ever!! ill never leave you.'

She is sooooo funny! She makes me laugh everyday and I just can't believe God chose ME to raise His little girl...What an honor. :)

another photo shoot

2009-09-28T01:34:00.000-07:00

In this picture Neema was saying "Hey merica!"

Neema and me just home alone and bored....picture time!

Neema sportin her new bikini!

Our roommate Amy arrived last week! We are so happy she's here! She also brought lots of gifts from America! So sweet. One is a new kini! :) Neema really enjoyed workin it for the camera. "im so pretty...." Oh goodness...should I be concerned? haha. So enjoy a few pics...

One simple question....

2009-09-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

Neema in all of her preciousness has been going through this phase where she likes to say "I love you" 10,000 times a day. And believe me I can't hear it too much....but the other day I was cooking and cleaning and trying to get the house ready for my friend coming over and she said it and before I even had time to respond she tilted her little head looked at me with her huge eyes and said "Do you love me?" I MELTED. I swooped her into my arms and said "YES! More than anything!" Now she says it all the time because its the cutest thing in the world and she knows she will always get a pick-up and a hug. :)

But as these sweet words resonated with me, I couldn't help compare it to how Jesus must feel sometimes. In all of my busyness and all of my worries...i wonder if Jesus is just trying to say to me "Do you love me?" When I make a poor decision or judge someone..."Do you love me?" When i intentionally go my own way... "Do you love me?" Or when I simply fail to trust in His ultimate goodness. "Do you love me?"

He asked Peter this very question THREE times...I can't imagine how many times he needs to ask me. But it is such a reminder to slow down....TRUST HIM....don't let what looks like set-backs turn my heart astray. I pray for an unfailing love and a heart that can't be deterred from the knowledge that he cares for me. I am so thankful that he loves me even when he has to ask me the question "Do you love me?"

He Reigns

2009-09-23T00:41:00.000-07:00

In this world you will face trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

To tell you about yesterday at Neema's finalizing court hearing is to expose a side of me that Im not all together proud of. But I know many of you have been praying for us so here are the realities of that day. First of all to get the birth father, lawyer, social worker, and judge to all show up to the same place at the same time is a feat in itself. We arrived at court at 8:15 for our 8:30 hearing. The lawyer is late. The social worker is not there. I try to stay calm. The lawyer's signature line to me is "dont cry." Because im a sensitive person by nature and this whole process is highly emotional as it involves matters regarding a child who has become very much a part of me, i tend to sometimes lose control of my mind. And for anyone who knows about third world countries you can understand how easy it is to actually "lose your mind."

So after all the waiting....waiting for 5 months in America to get back to her, waiting the three months of living with her for the first court date, waiting for the home study to be complete, waiting for the moon to determine the Tanzanian Holiday, waiting in the tiny hallway for them to call our names to make this adoption complete....my lawyer calls me over to him and tells me the social worker (who lets just say loves his power...A LOT) has notified him that he did not have everything he needed. I hold down the panic that starts rising up in my heart...What does he mean? I have turned in everything! I have quadruple checked!

"Don't cry. Don't cry." He says.

Next thing I know i see the social worker approaching in all his pompous "glory." I have heard horror stories of how this man likes to make things as difficult as possible for adoptive mothers but I had yet to see it thus far. I thought for some reason I was going to be able to fly under the radar....Oh no...don't be decieved.

He says to me with the shrewedest smile on his face "Your report is not complete." I did not understand. I asked him why and he came up with these asinine reasons as to why he was unable to complete it. I challenged his reasons and asked him how in his heart he could possibly feel good about denying this finalization for me and Neema today and *gasp* I started crying. I know often men cannot handle tears but i have found especially Tanzanian men....it only made him more furious. He looked at my lawyer said something in swahili and walked off. I was livid! This was not right!

I took Neema outside to calm down and as tears strolled down my face my sweet baby wiped my eyes and said:

"what happened?"

"im sorry mama."

"I love you...."

which only made me cry more. When I went back inside the social worker was talking to Neema's uncles. One of them came to me and said "Heath, you have to apologize." I was like "NO! Never...that man is horrible!" I later learned that he told Neema's uncle and his best friend that I disrespected him and that he would make me suffer. Yep, those were his words.

Despite the report being incomplete we still had to sit through the hearing as the social worker informed the judge we would need a rescheduling. My lawyer suggested a quick rescheduling of October 8th but to punish me the social worker said he felt like November 5th would be more appropriate for me. And he gets the final say. I simply sat there with my eyes closed praying that the Lord would give me the strength to press on.

So here I am sadly reporting that Neema and I will not be back to America by Christmas. :( And thats ok, im really fine with that but its just the way it all went down yesterday. It hurts my heart. I hate that I lost control of my emotions. I hate that I tried to hold on to my "rights." Because this is not America. This is Africa and I am learning what it is like for the people here. There are no rights for the people. There are no laws, its all up to the discretion of those in power. How sad that you can't put any trust in the government, but is that where our trust should come from anyway?

As a result of yesterday, it pushed me even closer to my God. I have learned I can't trust this social welfare system, but I can trust my God who says "Ask anything in my name and it will be given to you." and I can trust my God who says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

After calming down and taking some time to just sit at his feet. His amazing grace covered me and filled me with a sense of peace. But he also instructed me. Maybe I was right. Maybe the social worker should have completed the report. But did I represent Jesus? Was I humble in spirit? Not so much, i held on to my right to be right. And Jesus never did that. When people were beating Him and spitting on Him and crucifying him...at any point he could have called on thousands of angels but he never did. He gave up his rights for me! Who am I to claim my own?

As I read through proverbs this morning here is what God continuously revealed to me: SHUT YOUR MOUTH. BE HUMBLE. TRUST ME.

He who guards his mouth and his tongue
keeps himself from calamity.

A wicked man puts up a bold front,
but an upright man gives thought to his ways.

Humility and the fear of the LORD
bring wealth and honor and life.

He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious
will have the king for his friend.

I plan to make a visit to the social welfare office this week to seek forgiveness. Not to suck up and hope that it in fact gets completed on November 5th which now might not happen either since i have rattled the cage but to sincerely present an offering of peace and love. Thanks everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers. We will press on to the goal. Thanks for joining us in this journey...the physical journey and the spiritual one...its a JOY. Our happiness comes from Christ alone and does not depend on our circumstances.

Love,

Heath and Neema

Neema's first swim!

2009-09-19T02:33:00.000-07:00

She loved it!!!

Dont let this smile fool you...it was FREEZING!

Deep Talk im sure....

We heart Tanzania

2009-09-18T01:33:00.001-07:00

At the second hand market trying on Tanzania hats!

Neema hat and scarf...she had the sweater on too at one point...but that didn't last long.

Sometimes I just want to eat her...is that normal?!

suds and buckets

2009-09-09T05:54:00.001-07:00

So Neema and I are all settled into our new apartment! It is so great to finally have some of our own space. But we have yet to find a new house girl. Now before anyone goes judging....you should know that there is no dishwasher and no washing machines! Dishes I can handle....but anyone who knows me would have paid money to see me trying to wash 2 baskets full of dirty clothes in buckets. And if you have never been to Africa, clothes get DIRTY!! When I would pour the water out it was like black...just from walking around town the dust covers you...It took me like 2 and 1/2 hours to finish. And im not even sure my clothes are really that clean. It is hard work! Whenever I do find a house girl (which i hope is before my basket fills again) I am going to think twice about her salary. :)

Life is good. Neema and I have her second and final court date on SEPTEMBER 22. If all goes well (and that is a big IF..this is Africa) then I should get the adoption order on that day. I will then just have to jump through a few more hoops before its all official ON THIS SIDE. The next step will be to acquire her a tourist visa to the US. Please pray that the these final steps will fall into place and that God would shed his grace on this last leg of the process.

I will keep you all updated. Neema is excited to meet all of you...she has been talking about "Merica" a lot.

****UPDATE****

Ok change of plans...September 22 is a Tanzanian Holiday (Eid - Muslim's break their fast from Ramadan) so courts will not be in session. This threw me into a tailspin for a few days but God has swooped in again! (Doesn't he always?! Sometimes its just harder for us to realize that is what he is doing) We have been rescheduled for just one day! So change your prayers to September 23rd!!

Also, the tourist visa looks as though it may be more difficult than I anticipated. So prayers that I can get this baby home for Christmas! We love you all! ASANTE SANA! :)

insomnia

2009-09-04T14:25:00.000-07:00

its 12:30am here and I can't sleep. But forgive this post if its a little groggy...i need to get in bed. Neema and I are moving tomorrow to an apartment. We have been living with friends for the past couple of months so I'm really excited that we will have our own place. I can't wait to decorate, develop pictures, and just 'nest.'

Neema is doing well. She is talking more and more in English and its really fun to see her learning a second language. In Africa, people use the term TAKE a lot. For instance,

one might ask "will you take lunch?" as opposed to "will you eat lunch?" Neema uses this expression in all conversation. If she wants milk she says "i take milk", "i take pray", "i take julia" etc. It's so funny!

I have to be careful about what I say because its all beginning to be repeated to me. The other day she shook her little finger at me and I said "i mean it!" she did it in a playful way, but im thinking "do i say that to her a lot?"

These are some shots of Neema eating with her cute little friend Maureen in the village. I now see how she has developed some of her table manners.

An attempt to teach the girls to be generous...im not sure it's working....

Maureen and Neema...besties! :)

I just like this photo. Its one of my favorite things about Africa. Fresh fruits and veggies right by the house!

photo shoot

2009-08-27T22:59:00.000-07:00

oh the joys...

2009-08-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is more for existing parents and I hope I don't lose my following of singlets out there still living the Atlanta night life with this post...

Neema is still "potty training" and during the day she has pretty much mastered the concept. If she has an accident I do punish her, even though some say don't punish for that, but the way I see it is if she is old enough to tell me she wants milk or to go outside and play, she is plenty capable of saying I need to go to the bathroom. However, she still consistently wets the bed during nap and at night. I don't punish her on these occasions because maybe she does it in her sleep and can't help it. So the question is...will that eventually just stop happening? Or is there something I can do to help the process? We already go right before bed....I hope she grows out of this soon because pampers here are like $15!!

Here is a story about when she COULD help it. Yesterday, she had to go sit in the 'naughty chair' on my bed because she wasn't being a good listener or something...can't remember exactly why. But she was crying and I wasn't going in there....so when I went in there to talk to her...She had wet her pants ON PURPOSE thus getting both layers of the freshly washed sheets wet! Just so I would have to come clean her up! Oh my goodness I was fuming! She is clever for sure...Everyday I am learning how I have to think ahead as to out-maneuver her. No more naughty chair on the bed. No more lotion where she can reach it. Oh and no more milk and yogurt without supervision. I need like 10 pair of eyes!!!!

But as I write this...she is next to me rubbing my arm where I have a mosquito bite and saying "don't itch it." Just precious! So a little naughty yes...but so nice!

****UPDATE****

Ok so to all you sweet souls who posted and sent emails of encouragement...i have to report that Princess Pull-ups have changed my life! Neema has conquered potty-training!! (for the most part) She is obsessed with Ariel, Cinderella, and Belle who grace the front of her pull-ups! She never wants to get her Princesses wet. ;) So I just want to publically profess my gratitude to Pampers Pull-ups!!!

splish splash...

2009-08-19T00:04:00.000-07:00

I just had to take a moment and share this picture with you all. This is two of Neema's uncle's best friends...Neema and I went for a visit and she fell into some mud so here she is getting an African bath. The three of us were gathered around her in this small bucket and rinsing her off. I couldn't help but think 1. how lucky this little girl is that she has three people loving and bathing her; but 2. how precious these boys are! They help me so much with Neema: cleaning up after her, washing her shoes, take her to the bathroom, etc. They just grow up so close with all their neighbors they are just used to taking care of babies. Sometimes I think they know more than even I do! That's humbling. It is such a breath of fresh air. In a culture where typically caring for the child is "women's work" I can tell that times are changing. The other day I was there and Neema informed me that she had to use the bathroom...as i got up to take her, her uncle said "No, relax. I'll take her." I love these boys.

Donard, Neema, and Vincent

Saturdays

2009-08-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

So I have started a little tradition with Neema...On Saturdays we get up and we make French Toast! It helps me get over the fact that I can no longer sleep in on weekends. I have never made French Toast before a few weeks ago (I know its not hard to do) but anything that requires more than just taking it from the pantry and pouring it into a bowl is a big deal for me. I have never been much of a cook simply because I have always been an "on the go" kind of person never putting much thought ahead of time as to what I'm going to eat for dinner. But I quickly realized that a granola bar and potato chips, while not so healthy for a 27 year old either, is definitely not sufficient for the growth of a developing toddler.

Here are some pictures from today post french toast with powdered sugar....Neema is playing the drums in my mzungu (white person) T-shirt.

I'll keep her.

My little Beth Moore

2009-08-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Grace told me that she had a dream that Neema was going to be the next Beth Moore. (Moore writes bible studies and leads women conferences all over the US) I don't know about that, but I definitely believe the Lord has some incredible plan for my Neema.

On Sunday, our friend Jennifer was giving her testimony at a church where we do not attend. We go to Trinity Vineyard that is made up of mostly missionaries, NGO workers, and ex-patriots. But this church is one of the oldest in Arusha and has a mostly African congregation...including a great gospel choir! As soon as we got there they were just a singin and dancin in their long red robes. I was so excited. Neema loves to dance and I thought she was going to head to the front of the church and join them. After one particular upbeat praise song after the choir was finished singing and there is that small silence before the pastor moves onto the next part of the service, from the back of the church Neema yells out "Hallelujah!" Everyone turned around and looked at her and at first i was a little embarrassed that she had yelled out in such a formal church but then people laughed and just said "Amen!"

Another one of my favorite things she has been doing lately is singing in the car. I realized it the other day as we were riding along when I looked in my rearview mirror and her little hand was raised to the sky praising the Lord and she was singing along to my worship CD. Her favorite song to sing along with is Steve Fee's Glory to God. It is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. She sings... "Flory to God...Flory to God...Flory to God forever...."

Precious little heart!!!

The Beginning....

2009-08-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

I met this little girl at Cradle of Love in August 2008 when I came to volunteer in Arusha, Tanzania. It is there where I fell in love with the beautiful Neema! Everyday her infectious giggle and bubbly personality won me over more and more. When I went home for Christmas last year I could not get her off my heart. I was planning on returning to Africa in 2009 but to Zimbabwe. However, God had other ideas. He brought me back to Tanzania...back to Neema. She has been living with me since May and I am currently in the process of adopting her. What an incredible blessing she is to my life. Many people wonder why a 27 year old single girl would want to adopt a 2 year old. But it is an honor and a priviledge to take in one of God's children. She has captured my heart and as we wait out this process in Tanzania, I created this blog in the hope that you too can catch a glimpse of her spirit!